63 ~ Loving Without Interfering: A Meditation (Tool Box Edition)

Loving Without Interfering: a Meditation

What if loving someone meant embracing their flaws rather than trying to fix them? Join us for a relaxing meditation, where we soften into the art of loving through breath and attention without the compulsion to change others. Open to the possibility of establishing healthy boundaries and honoring your needs while respecting the autonomy of those closest to you. 

Through a brief discussion and meditation, we bring you into into the delicate balance of staying on your side of the street, reflecting on what truly nurtures your own well-being and preparing for deeper connections. 

As we breathe deeply, we have the opportunity to pause, reconnect with ourselves, and reinforce the foundation of self-love and acceptance. 

This session is not just about breathing and pausing; it's about enhancing your own relationships with honesty and intimacy. 

We're grateful for our listeners and invite you to share your experiences with us by emailing us or tagging us on instagram. 

If you enjoyed this episode please leave a review, snap a pic, share it with us to get a special gift. 

Chapters

• 0:08 Loving Someone Without Fixing Them
• 11:34 Embracing Self-Love Through Meditation

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:08

Welcome to Desire is Medicine. We are two very different women living a life led by desire.

Speaker 2: 0:14

Inviting you into our world. I'm Brenda. I'm a devoted practitioner to being my fully expressed true self in my daily life, motherhood relationships and my business Desire has taken me on quite a ride and every day I practice listening to and following the voice within. I'm a middle school teacher turned coach and guide of the feminine.

Speaker 1: 0:36

And I'm Catherine, devoted to living my life as the truest and, hopefully the highest version of me. I don't have children. I've never been married. I spent equal parts of my life in corporate as in some down and low shady spaces. I was the epitome of tired and wired, and my path led me to explore desire. I'm a coach, guide, energy worker and a forever student.

Speaker 2: 0:58

Even after decades of inner work, we are humble beginners on the mat, still exploring, always curious. We believe that listening to and following the nudge of desire is a deep spiritual practice that helps us grow.

Speaker 1: 1:12

On the Desire is Medicine podcast, we talk to each other, we interview people we know and love about the practice of desire, bringing in a very important piece that is often overlooked being responsible for our desire, piece, that is often overlooked being responsible for our desire.

Speaker 2: 1:26

Welcome back to Desire is Medicine. This is Brenda, and I'm joined by my wonderful co-host, catherine. Hey Catherine, hi Brenda, I'm so excited for today we both are. We recently did an episode where we went pretty deep into loving people where they are, and we're bringing you today, going a little deeper into that topic, and today's is a toolbox episode. Toolbox episodes are where we give you tools and practices to help you play with desire, and we're really excited about this one because I think this is a real conundrum that people get into.

Speaker 2: 2:07

When you love someone and you want to, you believe it's your job, your responsibility, to change their mood, change their state in some way, and that can be a really sticky situation because we don't really have control over other people. Yet we feel this need. Maybe it touched a wound and you believe in your soul that it's your job and you need to let this person know or change this person's mood in some way, and it's just not working and you've been around the hamster wheel so many times in your life with this in many different ways. So today we're going to take you into a meditation to just go deep into yourself on what to do when you love someone. When you love someone, they're maybe not doing what you wish they would do, or you see them potentially having a problem. What do you do? So I'm going to turn this over to Catherine, who's going to take us through a meditation.

Speaker 1: 3:11

Thank, you, catherine. Thank you, Brenda, for that gorgeous intro. Such a great setup for what we're about to do. Such a great setup for what we're about to do Listeners, family, friends. I want you to just gently, gently, lower your gaze. You can have your eyes closed if you like. You can look up, you can put your tongue behind your teeth, or you can do none of those things. You can be sitting down, you could be laying down, you could be standing up, as long as you just have time for your breath, for you to just be with yourself for a few minutes. I want you to take a deep breath in and gently, slowly exhale.

Speaker 1: 3:57

Deep breath in G, gently, slowly exhale, and, as you're landing deeper and deeper in your body, just taking in an inhale and exhaling everything that's bothering you taking inhaling peace, exhaling chaos. Let's slowly begin to land in what's true. As we walk through the world. There is something that is clearly yours we can reference it as your side of the street and then there are things that are on the other side of the street, and this is going to be any and all other Other dependents, other spouses, other family members, other friends. Everyone else is on the other side, the people. On the other side that person could be cranky, resentful, mad, upset. Other side that person could be cranky, resentful, mad, upset. They could be activated, not activated. They might be happy, tortured, unbothered. It's all on their side of the street. You might know it and see it and you may even feel a desire to change it. I want you to take a deep breath in and, as you exhale, just remind yourself that it's all going to be okay. There's your business, there's their business and there's God's business, and this is a moment for us to remember what is God's business. We don't have to fix other people. We don't have to fix other people. We don't have to fix circumstances. We just need to remember that these humans are just as capable as you. These other humans are able to see themselves at just the right time in just the right way. They have everything they need to do that. And as you're here just focusing on your breath and my voice, I want you to think about what is it that you need, what has to be handled on your side of the street so that you can be properly resourced? Is it taking fuller breaths so you can be fully oxygenated? Potentially, do you need more sleep? Do you need to just lay down on the ground still for 10 minutes? The ground, still for 10 minutes? What will provide you with just the right amount of just the right amount of resources so that you can be better prepared for when connection actually happens with this other person? We already know they're capable and there's a high potentiality that you will be in connection again, especially since you're not fixing where they are right now. What do you need? What do you need to look at? What is the nudge that's telling you that you need to go to their side of the street? Can you ask yourself now honestly is that true? Can you ask yourself now, honestly, is that true? Can this be the time that you just put it down and let them be? Just let them be? Take a deep breath in and say to yourself I just let them be. Wherever they are is perfect. I'm just here to worry about me Because I've got me. Yes, yes, yes, I have my own back. Deep breath in. I've got me and that is enough. I've got me, and that is enough.

Speaker 1: 8:21

I want to remind you that everything is perfect, even in its imperfection. Whatever is happening that is out of your control, it is not meant to be in your control. Continue to surrender and find your peace on your side of the street. So now, there you are, as you continue to breathe and just relax your breath, lengthening your breath, five second inhales, five second exhales. They're on their side of the street. You're on your side of the street.

Speaker 1: 8:53

I want you to start feeling into your heart space, feeling all the love that you have for this person, all that genuine care, all the places where your heart just breaks for them, breaks for them as you take a deep breath. I want you to feel that love in your heart, just expanding, expanding space. Feel how good it feels to be loved by you, feel how good it is to love you, to be in the middle of it and to be perfectly imperfect of it, and to be perfectly imperfect no matter what's happening with this other person. You feeling your heartbeat, feeling your breath, feeling your lungs expanding and contracting, feeling how alive you feel in this bubble of love, and with that, I want you to just say to yourself thank you.

Speaker 1: 10:51

You're thanking yourself for loving yourself. You're thanking yourself for surrounding yourself in this love bubble. You're thanking yourself for loving them so much. You're thanking yourself for your own courage and bravery of being willing, because feeling love is courageous. Being willing to play in the heart space of loving someone and knowing what is yours and what is theirs is really courageous. As you continue to bask in this love, I want you to take a deep breath in and exhale out, and just remind yourself I am enough. I am enough. I am doing a great job. Thank you so much everyone for joining me today, wishing you so much peace and happiness. I'm hoping that this short meditation allows you to come back to yourself.

Speaker 2: 12:16

Thank you for joining us on the Desire is Medicine podcast.

Speaker 1: 12:19

Desire invites us to be honest, loving and deeply intimate with ourselves and others. You can find our handles in the show notes. We'd love to hear from you.