84 ~ Sisterhood: Showing Each Other What's Possible

What happens when we surround ourselves with women who genuinely back our dreams? Our window of possibility expands beyond anything we could imagine alone. 

In this soul-stirring conversation, Brenda and Catherine explore how witnessing others achieve what seems impossible fundamentally rewires what we believe is possible for ourselves.

Brenda shares a life-altering story about hosting a celebration in hospice for her dying grandmother after a friend suggested the idea of a "margarita party." This single suggestion transformed not just her grandmother's final day of consciousness into one filled with joy and connection, but changed her entire family's approach to death and celebration. 

Episode Highlights:
• True sisterhood isn't just cheerleading but showing each other what's possible beyond our imagination
• Witnessing what's possible in others can be truly transformational 
• Our socioeconomic background, education, and experiences create blind spots that limit our vision of what's possible
• The biggest challenge isn't seeing possibility but staying committed when things get hard
• Shifting perspective from "what can I get?" to "who am I becoming?" creates deeper fulfillment
• Whatever your current desire, remember you are already someone else's living possibility

We'd love to hear what resonated with you! Reach out through our DMs and let us know if there's anything specific about possibility you'd like us to discuss in future episodes.

Chapters

• 0:08 Welcome to Desire is Medicine
• 1:33 The Importance of Backing Sisterhood
• 6:25 Grandmother's Hospice Party
• 13:17 Expanding Possibility Through Others
• 18:57 Not Everything Is a Margarita Party
• 23:36 Who Are You Becoming?

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:08

Welcome to Desire is Medicine. We are two very different women living a life led by desire, inviting you into our world.

Speaker 2: 0:16

I'm Brenda. I'm a devoted practitioner to being my fully expressed true self in my daily life. Motherhood relationships and my business Desire has taken me on quite a ride and every day I practice listening to and following the voice within. I'm a middle school teacher turned coach and guide of the feminine.

Speaker 1: 0:36

And I'm Catherine, devoted to living my life as the truest and hopefully the highest version of me. I don't have children, I've never been married. I've spent equal parts of my life in corporate as in some down and low shady spaces. I was the epitome of tired and wired and my path led me to explore desire. I'm a coach, guide, energy worker and a forever student, even after decades of inner work.

Speaker 2: 1:00

We are humble beginners on the mat, still exploring, always curious. We believe that listening to and following the nudge of desire is a deep spiritual practice that helps us grow.

Speaker 1: 1:12

On the Desires Medicine podcast. We talk to each other, we interview people we know and love about the practice of desire, bringing in a very important piece that is often overlooked being responsible for our desire, piece that is often overlooked being responsible for our desire. Welcome back, hello, family friends, I am here with my gorgeous co-host, brenda. Hey, brenda, so happy that we are both here, ready to talk to the peeps about some true shit. Yes, we've been talking about sisterhood, about backing ourselves, practicing telling the truth, being the person that people tell the truth to. We've been talking about how to really back someone. Hopefully all of our family listeners. You guys know we completely back you and what you want and what your desires are. Hence the Desire is Medicine podcast. Why is backing one another so important in sisterhood? If you really pause to think about it, is it because we want to be cheerleaders for one another and clap, clap, clap, tell each other oh my goodness, you sound amazing. Maybe that's one version really see each other in our brilliance and point to oh wow, you're just genius there. Maybe, if it's true that fear is a normal human location, if it's true that scarcity is so much easier to touch than abundance, then how do we create spaces where we can really grow with ease, or more ease than hardship? One way is by being in rooms where you back women and they back you. Think of it like this cauldron or think tank, where possibility is always on stage, where the highest version of you is always on stage, where the projector screen is always showing people's highlights, like that highlight reel from Spotify, or I think Facebook does it oh, I know our iPhones do it, right. It gives you like this month highlight or what happened a year ago. Facebook does it too.

Speaker 1: 4:18

Being in rooms with sisters that back you and it could be a literal room, or just in time and space. You get to see what's possible because you see it in others. If you are surrounded by women who also value personal growth, you will constantly be seeing people achieve things that you never thought were even possible. People achieve things that you never thought were even possible. That the possibility of it was so far out there that you would think that you're like in the Disney room dream room. In Disney's dream room. It seems so unfathomable that this could happen, that this could happen, and this is what we're talking about today being and living and breathing among sisters where you get to back each other in each other's dream room, while not being the cold shower, by just being the witness. Hey.

Speaker 2: 5:24

Brenda, what comes up for you? Hey, the dream room. I love a good Walt Disney dream room. You know he had a reality room too, but that was a whole separate room, because there is a place for reality but it is not in the dream room. Don't bring your reality ass opinion into the dream room. I love this feeling of the highest version of you on stage, like possibility, and I think that is what we do for each other as women. Show each other what's possible. Man, that is some good stuff. Okay, ready, it's 2014. Okay, ready, it's 2014.

Speaker 2: 6:25

My grandmother, who I loved so dearly, is in the hospital, and my father was already passed at this point, and it was my sister and I taking care of my grandmother and I was teaching at the time and I would visit my grandmother every day. I would, at this point, I would call in sick to work in the morning, I would have someone cover my homeroom, I would go visit my grandmother first thing in the morning and then I would go to work and my kids were little. I was like really burning the candle at both ends. This one particular day I went to visit her in the hospital and they told me that it was time for her to go to hospice. I knew this was coming. This wasn't a surprise. But it's 8 am now. I had already climbed 12 mountains.

Speaker 2: 6:57

I got into my car and I called a friend and I was just crying. I was just crying my grandmother's going to die. I'm so sad. And this friend was so compassionate and so loving. And the next thing she said, ready folks changed my life and it changed my family's life. She told me the story of when her mother died a few years back. When her mother was in the hospital, they knew she was dying. They threw her a margarita party. They brought in sand, they had actual margaritas, her and her sisters. And they're in the hospital room having a margarita party on her mother's deathbed. This landed in my body as such truth. It was like I just woke up. We got off the phone. In that minute I decided I'm having a party for my grandmother today. I text my whole family.

Speaker 1: 8:09

I text my sisters.

Speaker 2: 8:11

I text my brother, I text my mother, I texted my stepmother. I texted my daughter, who was away at college at the time. I said we're having a party for Bubby tonight that's what we called her. It's Yiddish for grandmother at six o'clock. This is a celebration. Get dressed up, bring chocolate, bring games. There will be music. And I thought, oh my God, they're going to think I'm absolutely nuts. And they did. But guess what? Every single one of them showed up. They all came to the party. My daughter even drove back from college. She was only about an hour and a half away, but she came that night. It was 8 AM. Everyone had a good amount of time.

Speaker 2: 8:56

Anyway, we had a party for my grandmother. I brought a feather boa. My sister painted, they painted her nails and there was music. The kids were playing on the floor. My sister painted, they painted her nails and there was music. The kids were playing on the floor. My sister had little kids at the time sitting on the floor coloring. It was a party.

Speaker 2: 9:15

We were in hospice because she was transferred. That day they came in and they said can you guys keep it down? And I was like I don't think so. We were respectful. And that party changed everything. It showed me what was possible and my grandmother had the best time at that party and at the end of the party I could feel, oh, it's time to wind this party down now.

Speaker 2: 9:44

She was getting tired, she closed her eyes and that was the last time she was ever awake, was at that party. I mean, holy crap, right. And it was beautiful. She was with her entire family. We loved her. She was a Gemini, so she really loved the attention. She got to talk, she was celebrated and that's how my grandmother spent her last day. And everyone in my family remembers that and they all, at different times, have said to me this changed my DNA, this changed my cells. This showed me what was possible and it was because I had the courage to do it, but it was because my friend had the courage to tell me what was possible and it changed everything.

Speaker 1: 10:43

That story is absolutely fantastic Margarita party at the hospice, it's beautiful. I'm thinking right now when we think of possibility, I want to introduce things that kill our possibility Socioeconomic class, orientation, income, family, background, potential, incarceration potential, association with incarceration, education etiquette, overall socioeconomic class, etiquette, overall socioeconomic class. So our possibilities are sort of limited to our view. It's like you look around you and this is what's possible. I think in episodes I don't know what episode in the past I know I've talked about this One of the biggest lessons I've had in abundance has been that scarcity is when I think the problem can only be solved by money.

Speaker 1: 12:04

Abundance is when I can be creative and think outside of the box and that's fine and good. But when I think about the book like Power Versus Force, how much does somebody's vibration actually change in a lifetime based on their own experience, versus if we bring in different math, the math that we are the average of our five best friends or five closest friends, and then I bring in a different map where you can make a new friend all the time and the more friends and the more doors that you open for yourself, the more possibilities actually touch your doorstep and in sisterhood, in the share in seeing others accomplish things that we couldn't only dream of in the dream room. This is how we begin to give it to ourselves. This is one of the many ways, but this way is so fun. It's in connection, it's in sisterhood, it's in conversation, it's in life.

Speaker 1: 13:12

It's like how amazing was that when your friend said to you oh, we had a margarita party. And then, all of a sudden, everything clicks in your body and you're like we are having a party tonight at hospice and everybody shows up. Your grandmother has a blast and it's the last time that she was really present and it's the last time that she was really present. What an amazing experience for all of you. One of your sisters shares her life experience, shows you what's possible. You take that possibility and run with it and you impact everybody that you've touched. This is possibility. It's a way for us, instead of 2Xing something to 10X something how could we make this that much better? We get to change the size of our possibility window via sisterhood.

Speaker 2: 14:04

We can only see what we see. You're so right about that. We have our own blind spots and we don't know what we don't know. I know that there's things I don't know, but I need other people to show me what's possible. I need to be in rooms, I need to be with people who have had different experiences, who have different perspectives and who can see things that I can't see. And this is the beauty of my friendships.

Speaker 2: 14:40

And just before this recording, I brought something to Catherine that was bothering me, that came up in my day and I could only see it for what I could see it as, and I knew, if I was willing to show her this part of myself and ask for her opinion, that she would tell me the truth of what she saw and that she would see something different than what I could see. But if I'm just feeling scared or scarce or unwilling to reveal the truth of myself, then I'm stuck, I'm limited, there's no possibility, it's just only what I can see, which in some cases is quite small, and the creativity, the abundant life is thinking outside the box. Well, sometimes you just don't know how to do that right. We can get curious with a quote problem or an issue and we can say, well, I don't know what to do here. Who do I want to ask, who do I want to talk to about this and just get really curious. And if we get really curious and just be willing to sit in the unknown, that's the really hard part. Are you willing to sit in the unknown and just explore what's possible? And that does take a slowing down as opposed to a quick moving thing.

Speaker 2: 16:18

Now, if I had responded to this thing that I was telling you about before, I think it wouldn't have been so good. I think it would have been closed and small and tight. But in talking to Catherine, I was able to see other options and also see where I need to do a little inner work. I need to do some writing to unclench some spots, and then a whole world of possibility is going to open up there. And this is just real, folks. This is just real.

Speaker 2: 16:48

This is creative, abundant thinking. This is how we grow. We don't grow unless we're willing to get curious and ask ourselves what else is possible and try something new, which means taking a risk. And I do say this a lot, you know, taking a risk can be risky because if you're prone to beating yourself up or punishing yourself which I have a pretty strong punisher inside of me that I've worked with you're going to be less willing to take risks, which means you're going to stay in the box a little bit more, and this is one way that we keep ourselves stuck. So we're giving you this little possibility today of what would it take for you to get curious, to get creative, to have an abundant mindset so you can have the life that you dream of, have your desires, or at least just move towards it and be on the journey. And it's fun to play. This is a fun way to play with women, because women are so creative. You get a group of women in the room and you drop an issue.

Speaker 2: 18:09

You're going to have so many possible outlooks and lenses to look at, which is going to expand your mind, and I think that's how we can take each other higher.

Speaker 1: 18:18

Thank you so much for that, cher. Now I'm going to bring in something that's not so. It's not as much fun as possibility, but it's true. So now you're in this room, everybody's highest self is projected onto the stage and the crowd is roaring, and then your inner critic comes in and says well, it's easy for them because of X, y or Z. And of course it's going to say that your ego does not want to do the hard thing. Not everything's going to be a margarita party. Not everything's going to be like we're changing family DNA patterns overnight, just like in a whole day party. Wah wah, rah rah. Family DNA patterns overnight just like in a whole day party. Wah-wah, rah-rah. No, some stuff is going to be hard.

Speaker 1: 19:18

I think of the phrase like work smarter, not harder. I always used to get stuck on that phrase. I'm like I want to work smarter, not harder, and then I realized, well, in order to work smarter, you actually have to work harder first, because that's what teaches you what not to do. You can't work smarter if you've never been in the room.

Speaker 1: 19:54

Friends, I want to invite you to please, please, please, please, please, by the love of God, or the love of God or the universe, or however you identify. Know that if it's possible for someone, it's possible for you. Know that if you see it, you can have it. If you can spot it, you've got it. The biggest feat is how do you stay in the room and not quit? How do you stay in the room and not make excuses? How do you stay in the dream room and ask yourself what's one thing I can do, what's one thing I can own? How can I get closer to having my desire? I really, really, really wish that in more for all of you. Anything you want to add, brenda, before I close.

Speaker 2: 20:54

I want to say that, yeah, some things are easier for other people than for you, and that's by design. We don't all have the same challenges. You know you and I have talked a lot about my journey is full expression. Your journey is how do I be fully expressed and loving and kind, and so you know we don't have the same journeys and so, yeah, some things are going to be easier for other people than for you.

Speaker 2: 21:27

Some people are working on money, some people working on relationships, some people working on career, some people are working on physical health. We're all here working on different things and through interacting with each other, we can learn from each other, and I just love this idea. Amen to there's more than enough to go around. I listened to a speaker once and I wish that I remembered his name, but he said there's enough resources on this planet for everyone to be a millionaire, enough resources on this planet for everyone to be a millionaire. It's just that we don't tap into it. We don't know how to have it. That blew my mind and I believe it.

Speaker 1: 22:15

Well, somebody could say okay, well, that's Miss Brenda, great for people that want to be millionaires. But what about if I want to have a baby and I haven't been able to get pregnant? Or what about if I want to get married and I don't have a husband? What about, like, there are all these places right when sometimes we want things and we don't have it, and we see other people with it.

Speaker 2: 22:37

Yeah, I think that's really hard and there's no guarantees in this world. There's no guarantees in this life, and I personally believe that we're here on this earth to learn lessons generationally through our karma, and we all have different lessons to learn. That's why we're all good at different things and we all struggle with different things and we're not going to always have our desires. You heard it here on the Desire is Medicine podcast, folks we're not going to always have our desires and sometimes that's a good thing Because we can think quite small. What the universe has in store for us is much greater. And also sometimes it's protection. Did you know that Milton Hershey had a ticket for the Titanic and he did not get on that ship? Imagine he just went down with the ship. We wouldn't have Hershey bars or Hershey kisses. So sometimes it's just protection. And if we shift our perspective from I have to have this thing to what am I learning along the way and who am I becoming, that's a more fulfilling lens to view our desires through.

Speaker 1: 23:58

Say that again for the people in the back Go, go For the people in the back.

Speaker 2: 24:03

Go, go For the people in the back. If you can shift your perspective from what can I get? What can I have? I must have this thing To what am I learning and who am I becoming along the way, life will be more fulfilling. Am I becoming?

Speaker 1: 24:25

along the way, life will be more fulfilling. Thank you, I just want to say that was brilliant. Yes, yes, yes. What the universe has in store for us is going to be different than what we want for ourselves, even though we are a desire as medicine podcast, it's less about the attainment and it's about who we're becoming as we're going to attain the thing and I'm going to share now. You talked about Hershey bars, which I loved. Alex Hermosi that's going to be another money reference. He's a business mentor leader. He was saying when he was in his 20s, all he wanted to do was be a millionaire. Then, when he became a millionaire, all he wanted to do was be in his 20s.

Speaker 1: 25:24

And I was watching Demi Moore accept an award. I think it was from last year, but she spoke about being in her 60s and having this flappy skin and how much wisdom she has and what her life feels like. And would she have known what it would feel like, how good it would be, to be in your 60s and your 20s? No, nobody knows that, or we don't talk about it. We don't actually idolize getting older in our society. But she wouldn't give anything to be in her 20s. She don't want to go back Now.

Speaker 1: 26:06

They both mentioned their 20s, which is why it had me think about Alex and Demi, but ultimately, what I hear when I hear things like that is we want to be over there, but over there is not guaranteed. Not because the possibility isn't there, not because you're not good enough, not because you're not worthy, not because there's anything lacking it could be because of a lesson but without thinking about the block just over there is not guaranteed. The only thing that's guaranteed is right now, and if we knew that right now was the last thing that we would have like, how much more could we enjoy this moment? Because, yes, ultimately, today we're talking about possibility and surrounding ourselves with what is possible, and I want to remind everyone that today, right now, wherever you are listening, think of all that you have already created and all that there is to celebrate, and how you are a living, breathing possibility for someone. How we would give anything to be somewhere else to have the other thing that we want, and how there are other people that would give anything to be somewhere else to have the other thing that we want, and how there are other people that would give anything to be where we are. So please, please, please, applaud your gains.

Speaker 1: 27:37

If anything on this podcast today resonated with you, please reach out. I love receiving DMs. One of these days, brenda will twist my arm enough, where I will be talking about the different DMs that we get and we definitely have more DMs, messages, emails, texts than we do reviews. I love receiving them. So please let us know what lands for you and if there's anything specific that you want us to talk about in the realm of possibility, let us know. Until next time, bye for now.

Speaker 2: 28:14

Thank you for joining us on the Desire is Medicine podcast.

Speaker 1: 28:18

Desire invites us to be honest, loving and deeply intimate with ourselves and others. You can find our handles in the show notes. We'd love to hear from you.