89 ~ The Art of Stillness in an Anxious World

Brenda and Catherine explore how that anxious inner hum - the persistent urge to do something – might actually be an invitation into stillness, not more action.

Brenda shares how her former need for order and perfectionism once kept her from being present with her kids. A pandemic moment of realizing “the dishes don’t have to be done today” shifted everything. Constant motion, she reflects, is often a way to avoid discomfort and deeper self-connection.

Catherine adds insight from her own pattern of trying to fix others as a way to escape her own unease. Whether through busyness or caretaking, both patterns reflect difficulty being with uncomfortable feelings.

They offers grounding practices like placing a hand where tension lives in the body, narrating sensations without judgment, and using calming phrases like “I am safe.” Catherine says, “You don’t learn to drive when you need to take someone to the hospital.” We build capacity in quieter moments so it’s there when we need it.

Whether you're someone who can't leave the dishes or someone who never does them, this episode invites you to shift your relationship with stillness – and discover freedom in simply being with yourself.

Episode Highlights:

• Anxiety often shows up as an urge to move, act, or fix
• Our overstimulated world feeds anxious tendencies and perfectionism
• Constant motion can block deeper connection with self and others
• Noticing, naming, and breathing into physical sensations helps regulate the nervous system
• Phrases like “I am safe” support grounding in the moment
• Regular embodiment practices build resilience for emotional challenges
• Healing comes not from avoiding discomfort, but allowing it with compassion

Let us know what resonates – we’d love to hear from you.

Chapters

• 1:32 Stillness & Anxiety: Two Sides of a Coin
• 6:40 The Cost of Being Busy
• 12:54 Learning to Sit With Discomfort
• 19:19 The Practice of Pausing
• 30:00 Finding Your Personal Healing Path
• 34:45 Practical Tools for Anxious Moments
• 38:16 Final Thoughts and Farewell

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:08

Welcome to Desire is Medicine. We are two very different women living a life led by desire, inviting you into our world.

Speaker 2: 0:16

I'm Brenda. I'm a devoted practitioner to being my fully expressed true self in my daily life. Motherhood relationships and my business Desire has taken me on quite a ride and every day I practice listening to and following the voice within. I'm a middle school teacher turned coach and guide of the feminine.

Speaker 1: 0:36

And I'm Catherine, devoted to living my life as the truest and hopefully the highest version of me. I don't have children, I've never been married. I've spent equal parts of my life in corporate as in some down and low shady spaces. I was the epitome of tired and wired and my path led me to explore desire. I'm a coach, guide, energy worker and a forever student.

Speaker 2: 0:58

Even after decades of inner work, we are humble beginners on the mat, still exploring, always curious. We believe that listening to and following the nudge of desire is a deep spiritual practice that helps us grow.

Speaker 1: 1:12

On the Desires Medicine podcast. We talk to each other, we interview people we know and love about the practice of desire, bringing in a very important piece that is often overlooked being responsible for our desire. Welcome back. Family, friends, listeners.

Speaker 1: 1:33

Brenda and I are excited to dive in today into the wonderful conversation around stillness anxiety. Why are they even on the same spectrum, isn't that so wild? Like you can be still or you can be anxious. It sounds like they're both not the greatest options, but they do live sort of on the same line and pendulum. When you're really anxious, it's hard to be still, and one of the reasons why you're anxious is because you're not still, and if you were still, you wouldn't be anxious. It's like which one came first, the chicken or the egg.

Speaker 1: 2:10

So many things are in the background of that as well, like anxiousness often and I'm going to put aside the perimenopausal and menopausal women because there is a hormonal component to that, but when we're not, well, I guess other women could. It's interesting, it just came into my mind Other women, you might have a hormonal component. Let's let me just use that disclaimer you might feel that like jittery, that hum in your body of like there's something to do. There's something to do. There's something to do. There's something to do in your physical system. Your nervous system is like go, go, go, do the thing Like, and it might be hormonal, it could also be just part of survival. So something is happening, potentially or not happening in your life that is rubbing against either a goal or a safety button and it's basically in the background, humming inside of your nervous system, telling you to move, to do something. Act, take action. That anxiousness, that sensation in your body is saying hey, move your butt is saying hey, move your butt, get to safety, go to what's comfortable.

Speaker 1: 3:29

I am uncomfortable. Potentially, I am in outside of my comfort zone. This can be hard to sit in. It's also part of our personal growth path. We will be doing things that are not comfortable. They're not comfortable because they're unknown. They're an unknown skill, unknown habit, something that we just don't know how to do. So this is sort of like the overall umbrella when we're thinking about anxiety.

Speaker 1: 3:58

Am I anxious because there's something I want to change in my life? So is it something like want to change in my life? So is it something like is the change in front of me or out yonder by the horizon, and I'm going towards it, or am I already on top of it trying to do this and my body's like, ah, I don't like it here. This is uncomfortable, I have to do new skills. I don't know how to do new skills and I'm somehow feel like I don't have the capacity for it or I feel incapable. Is it only in my mind? Am I anxious? Because my mind is like I need to be safe, so I need to control all these people, places, things and parts, so my brain is trying to figure out all the pieces. There could be different locations.

Speaker 1: 4:42

So stillness is pretty simple. Right, we just stop moving, try to stop thinking, potentially with meditation or breathing exercises or yoga, like there are some action oriented things that you can do to try to be still Savasana for all the yogis out there. Nonetheless, it can have this sensation and this feeling in our bodies and our mind that, hmm, this is hard. I just want to do something. I'd like to be moving because the forward movement of my body and being in action makes me feel like I'm doing something. So I hope that feels juicy to you, because that's what Brenda and I will be talking about today. I'll be sharing what it has felt like for me for the most part being unmarried, no children and the lovely Brenda can bring in her gorgeous outlook, right as being a lovely mom of two that has done so much.

Speaker 1: 5:41

When we look at and we try to normal. I would love for us to normalize the struggle Like there's nothing wrong with you, you're not broken right. Like as humans, we're wired for stimulation and survival, like we want to move and we want to be safe. Let's be honest I mean, I'm about to toss this mic to Brenda. But let's be honest, brenda, we are definitely rewarded for being busy, but how often are we like, oh, this person is so productive and then in the back of our minds, thinking they must be underneath a pile of anxiousness? Do you ever think that? I know, I never think of it like that. I'm like, oh, they're so productive, they're so amazing, I want to do it, how they do it. But it's really easy to look at somebody over there and be like I want that or that looks so cool, and not think about the cost of that, like the cost of always being on the go. Thank you for that beautiful intro.

Speaker 2: 6:40

I actually think about the cost of being on the go quite a bit, because since I left my we'll call it a corporate job, I was in teaching and education for 22 years and now I have my own business. I just traveled across the country and so my schedule is different. I create it to a certain extent, and when I look at people who are working a nine to five and I see busy moms in the street you know, pushing the carriages and food shopping, holding a kid on one hand, and I remember those days and I think, wow, I just remember the feeling of that and how overwhelming it was. It's so overwhelming when you have so much to do and you feel like there's so little time and no matter what you do you just there's just not enough time in the day. So that took a really big hit to my system, that that was very expensive to me energetically and I don't want that life anymore. That's partly why I left it. I think I took it as far as I could go and for me it was overriding my body and my system so much that that was just actually the norm and I didn't even know what I was doing. And I don't think we use the word anxious or anxiety so much back then. I think that's more of a current term that we use and I don't know that I've ever really been a super anxious person.

Speaker 2: 8:05

But I will say that the cost of being on the move all the time and being busy well, maybe not 24 seven, because I did sleep it's expensive, you know, and I will say that there's a lot of times that I was going through the motions of things, but not necessarily present, not as present as I would like to be, and looking back I'm thinking, wow, the most important thing is being present, especially as a mother of grown children. I think I was present a lot of the time. But looking back I'm like, oh, wow, I wish I was even more present, wish I was even more present, because the years are so fleeting and they're just gone and what seems overwhelming in the day to day, there's so much to do. You're on the move all the time, you're always doing things. It feels like it's endless. And then here it is. Here I am sitting here podcasting with you, catherine, on a Monday afternoon, and I'm like, wow, all those years are gone, they're in the past. And so I'm like, wow, I really would have been more present had I been able to, and there's a lot of things that take our attention when you're talking about what causes anxiety and why we're anxious, and back then what I'm talking about, we didn't even have the internet until my kids were, say, in middle school. I didn't even have a phone that I was on all the time, a smartphone that had basically a computer.

Speaker 2: 9:36

I think we have so much information coming in right now these days because of our smartphones. I think it's really unnatural the amount of information that we have coming into us. It's really anxiety producing to have all this information coming into us. There's always something to do and there's always something to click or look at or research or look up. And now everyone's into chat, gpt.

Speaker 2: 10:04

It's just unnatural and it produces a lot of anxiety because there's not a lot of stillness anymore and we have our phones with us 24, seven. Wherever we go, we have our phones. So I know I've been personally trying to put my phone down and go on walks or go out with my friends and not look at the phone at all, just to work with this one piece that I'm pointing to, which is too much information coming in that our human bodies don't actually have the capacity for. It's not natural for us to know what's happening in every country around the world and what my middle school best friend ate for lunch yesterday. That's not natural for me to process all of that information. So and people are more anxious than ever. I think we can pretty much agree with that. So I think that this has something to do with it.

Speaker 1: 10:56

Any thoughts on that. I actually want to circle back to something that you said. You said you know the years were so fleeting and when you think back to the time with your children, like you would have loved to be more present, because now you're like, oh, those times are gone. What would have had to be different for you back then in order to do that, and what do you think the reward of doing that would have been? I know this is in hindsight and this is all theoretical, but indulge me.

Speaker 2: 11:26

I'll indulge you. That's such a great question. What would have had to be different for me to be more present? And I want to state that I believe that I was really present. I was as present as I could possibly be with the consciousness level that I had.

Speaker 2: 11:43

I was very perfectionistic and I think a lot of moms are really perfectionistic, and a lot of people, not just moms so I had a feeling internally that I had to have things a certain way. I had to keep the kitchen clean, I had to do all the laundry and these things do need to get done but I would have had to here it is, I would have had to be willing to live with a more of a sense of mess than what I was willing to live with, because maybe while I was playing with my kids, I might've been folding laundry or making dinner, or maybe I didn't have time for those things. I was like oh, I can only play with you for X amount of time because I have these things to do, because I had an idea of how it needed to be. The mess made me really anxious, so I didn't have phones back then, but I had a mess and the mess really did upset me.

Speaker 2: 12:36

It upset my system, especially in a life when I had two kids running around and so much is out of control. When I had two kids running around and so much is out of control. You can't control anything when you have two kids going around. I had a lot of routines and a lot of structure, but even still still out of control. You don't even know if you're going to get a good night's sleep. Plus, I was teaching and I had a hundred students during the day. So I think I would have had to be willing to live with a higher level of mess than I was willing to live with. I didn't even know that existed. I didn't even know, because my body is just coded. You keep things a certain way. This is what I knew and that's what I did.

Speaker 1: 13:24

And what was the other question? Well, now I want to know something else. Do you feel that the woman you are today would be able to live with that level of mess? And there's no right or wrong answer, I'm just curious.

Speaker 2: 13:38

Such a good question. 100%, I really do. Okay, here's a big lesson that I learned during the pandemic. This is going to be so funny to some of you out there listening. You're going to be like duh Brenda. We knew this lifetimes ago. Ready, you don't have to wash the dishes today, you could let the dishes sit in the sink. You don't even have to load the dishwasher and you also don't have to empty it. You could just let it sit. That sounds crazy, but I just always thought you had to always keep it clean and you have to keep the dishes moving in this perfectionistic kind of way.

Speaker 2: 14:23

And now, instead of externally having things be perfect, which is the way I used to be, now I really focus internally what does my body need? What do I actually have the capacity for? And let's do that. So if I am exhausted, I don't care. There could be dishes in the sink. I'm going to put my body and my capacity first and I'm going to sit down and rest, and maybe the dishes won't get done until tomorrow. Now some people have the opposite problem and maybe they just need to do the dishes, but for me, I needed to learn to leave. The dishes won't get done till tomorrow. Now some people have the opposite problem and maybe they just need to do the dishes, but for me, I needed to learn to leave the dishes in the sink. Does that answer your question? It?

Speaker 1: 15:02

answers my question. So it's sort of what you're saying today the you would be able to leave the dishes in the sink. It wouldn't cause the same sort of like urge to move or anxiety that it's there and it's not getting done. You'd be able to potentially play with the kids and you also touched on. For other people it might be the opposite, right, so for others it could feel or look like something else. The thing that comes to mind for me is oh, where is the discomfort? We're sort of circling to that place when we think of anxiety or overwhelm. There's a place where we're not comfortable and so we want to do things. So, brenda, you're talking about the discomfort that things don't look a certain way in order for you to do X, y or Z, and so you would be able to do that. The you today would be able to do that, which is actually pretty beautiful. I'm assuming you tell your clients often to leave the dishes in the sink.

Speaker 2: 16:09

Definitely. And it's a metaphor, it's not just about dishes, it's about everything, right, it's just about literally everything. And, yeah, can you just sit with the mess? Because my mind couldn't let it go. My mind couldn't let it go that something needed to get done and it was just physically uncomfortable in my body. The mess created a sensation in my body like discomfort, like things are out of place, and I needed things to be in place in order to feel okay. And that's a trap. It's a trap because things are always going to be out of place.

Speaker 2: 16:46

There's always especially if you have kids at home there's always laundry to do, there's always something to clean up, there's always a meal to be made, there's always a fight to break up. If you have multiple kids, there's always something to clean up, there's always a meal to be made. There's always a fight to break up. If you have multiple kids, there's always something going on. So if that's external, if you need the external to be a certain way to feel okay, you're kind of in trouble because you're always going to be putting out fires.

Speaker 2: 17:10

So the alternate is taking care of yourself and just working with your mind. Now I'm like, okay, my mind notices, okay, there's a mess over there and I'm dealing with this right now because I just moved locations. I just, from my cross country trip, landed back at my lake and I'm redoing my room and my closet isn't organized. I don't have anything in my closet yet to hold my stuff and I have a big pile of stuff everywhere, super uncomfortable, but I'm able to just sit with and be with're talking about which is you just did it.

Speaker 1: 18:00

You just noticed like, oh, here you are in your room and you're saying this. My closet is is not organized. I have a pile of stuff and that somewhat could be a metaphor. The pile of stuff could be I haven't done my taxes no-transcript. The reason why I'm wanting to go slower is that these things can cause anxiety in our system because it's not comfortable. It's not like you walked into this hotel room and it was cleaned for you and you have these clean sheets and all you need to do is go to bed. I love staying in hotels because everything is done and there's like room service and housekeeping and that sort of thing.

Speaker 1: 19:00

In real life, there are things. No matter how wealthy you are to be able to delegate most of it, there's still a certain amount of life that needs to be lifed. People aren't with you unless you have a butler like 24 seven. There are still things that are sort of like on the docket in the back of your mind. Somewhere there's a compartment of like this needs to get done or this needs to be addressed. Maybe you want to make more money, or maybe you're deciding whether or not you're staying in this relationship, or maybe there's a friendship conversation that needs to be had. Or maybe somebody crossed your boundaries and you're like oh yes, I need to implement that consequence and these things cause that.

Speaker 1: 19:46

In the system that I was talking about earlier today, I was going to say yesterday it feels like yesterday, but not at the beginning of the podcast there's that natural hum and buzzing of do something about this. And what Brenda so gorgeously spoke about just a few seconds ago it's not that that do something about this goes away, it's a noticing. Oh yes, I'm hearing inside my mind. My mind is telling me you need to do something about this, telling me you need to do something about this. And it's a friendly suggestion from that lizard brain that's like fix your environment so I could be comfortable, so I could feel safe, I could feel like I belong, I feel loved. And you can say to yourself take a deep breath, exhale, potentially even hug yourself and just say I am safe, I am loved, I'm okay, I belong. I'm not being exiled if I didn't do the dishes, not being exiled if I didn't do my taxes, like, maybe I have to pay a fine, but nobody dies, I'm not broken because I didn't get it done Right. It's not to ignore it and become a hoarder or something like that. That's not the spot. That's not the answer.

Speaker 1: 21:05

The answer is to notice the tug for you to be in action versus to be in stillness, if stillness is what you need and stillness is what is needed when there is anxiousness, because it means there's too much input, as Brenda was talking about earlier, like there's so much information that it's unnatural, as she stated I'm just rephrasing what she said before and we need to just reconnect with ourselves, and that occurs in stillness when there is no other input. We have been doing this friendship relationship series and when I think of stillness, I think of putting time into the most important relationship in your life, which is your relationship with you, because you take you everywhere. We also recorded recently on how important it is to be in connection with other and it is important to have a relationship with your dishes, with your clothes, with your home, to be in relationship with it. So there's something to be done. You are in response, you're sort of in this dance. It doesn't have to feel like you are in a prison, you don't have to be in an urgency response with it. You can be in relationship with it In the noticing.

Speaker 1: 22:32

Oh, I could really feel this discomfort. It's really hard for me to be still knowing that I have to do all of these things. How can I stay with myself, not abandon myself? And this could just be like 30 seconds of stillness. You know, it could be just you saying to yourself how many inhales and how many exhales can I do before I can actually feel myself land in this seat or land in my feet before I take the next step? I see Brenda shaking her head. What are you thinking about?

Speaker 2: 23:06

You really nailed it when you said being in relationship with it. It's the only way to move through it is being in relationship with it, and the practice you offered was absolutely gorgeous, because that is how I worked with it, cause you don't go from the dishes are driving me crazy to the dishes. Don't drive me crazy. It's not a jump like that. There's something in the middle and the spot in the middle is sitting with the discomfort and just noticing it. And so for me, since we were talking about my example before, how did I get through that? How did I change it? So many things, but one thing was noticing it, and my meditation practice had a lot to do with it, and so did my sensation practice, my somatics, just noticing what is happening in my body. Where am I feeling sensation? And instead of jumping up to do the dishes or the taxes or call the person that I didn't call, whatever the thing is sitting with the discomfort and noticing where my body am I feeling discomfort? And even just putting my hands there and noticing discomfort, and even just putting my hands there and noticing taking a deep breath, I am feeling a lot of movement in my belly right now. I am feeling tightening in my chest, just narrating to yourself. I see the dishes over there. I really want to jump up and clean them. I feel like I should get up and clean them. It's okay that I'm not going to get up and clean them. I am safe, I am safe and I am well and those dishes are going to get done and I don't need to get up and do them right now to be okay. And I had to do that a lot of times and then really notice that I'm not going to get up and clean them and unravel. That piece of something in my primal brain feels unsafe if there's a mess, right. This is a pattern that I picked up just from childhood and this is a very common thing. And no, I am safe and it took a lot of time for me to sit with that and unravel that. And now I'm like all right, I better get up and do the dishes Now. I'm so used to them sitting around. But that feels great, feels great. And I do notice it and I do laugh at myself sometimes. Oh wow, look at that, look at that. I left the counter messy. This is great. It's great to just get to the other side of it and be okay with it. So you really nailed it when you said being in relationship with it and really sitting with it, because we hot potato things. Very often we hot potato things. We want to get up and get rid of this feeling.

Speaker 2: 25:56

But that's the trap that I was talking about before. If we're always moving to get rid of this feeling by doing something, we're just always stuck in that cycle and there's times to do things. You know, there's times that you do need to do your taxes, there are times where you need to call your mother, there's times where you need to have a conversation that's uncomfortable. We're not saying to avoid that, but we're saying the piece where you're like, oh God, I need to clean this up or do this thing, because I'm so uncomfortable right now I can't even stand it, I can't be with myself. The point is being with yourself, learning to cultivate that relationship with yourself where you feel good. We're supposed to feel good in our bodies, we're supposed to feel good in our life, and so how do we cultivate that?

Speaker 1: 26:53

Well, yes, we're supposed to feel good in our bodies, we're supposed to feel good in our life, and what we're pointing to is like what's happening when it doesn't feel good, when it's like unbearable to be in that stillness. You've used the example of dishes right Of, like how that could be anxiety inducing, how you want the house to look in a particular way and what comes to mind. For me, one of the things that was very anxiety inducing was when I would hear people telling me about a problem. What they have in my head I had the solution. I know how to fix this train wreck. Or I see two other two people talking. I'm experiencing them talk sort of there, but not really in the conversation, and I think one person is giving somebody else bad advice, but nobody asked me for my opinion.

Speaker 1: 27:44

So there's a desire in me like I want to interject, I want to be the person, like I want to help here, I want to say my part, and then I feel that slow buzz or the revving of that buzz in my body, like say it, say it, say it. And I come from the side of the coin that I used to say my thoughts all the time and like people don't need to know all my thoughts. I get to share it when it's appropriate. And I had to learn how to be with the discomfort of keeping my mouth shut. Like people don't need to know everything that I have to say or think. Like not everybody's a client, I don't have to interject, not everybody's a loved one, because there's a cost right In sharing. There's a cost in being inside of something. There's a cost of interjecting, especially when I'm interjecting because I have that sensation in my body. Once I started to be in relationship with it I was like, oh, this is not the time, because something's working in the background. I can feel the discomfort in my body, so I need to pause here instead of contributing my thoughts and my feelings and my sensations.

Speaker 1: 29:07

So anxiousness could occur with you in relationship to dishes, with you in relationship with other, with you in relationship to your own opinions or your own experience of life, and with you and your desire to share in different ways with you and your desire to share in different ways. And I noticed during those times that when I shared, when I was in that space, it wasn't always welcome. And it makes sense to me now because the energy behind it was unclean. I don't mean it was bad, negative or came from demons or the devil or anything like that. It just wasn't dirty like it was in the mud. But it was coming from me and I wasn't regulated at the time. That's the way to describe it. It was not clean because I was in some way, shape or form dysregulated when I was sharing. And yes, we've talked about this many times we heal in connection and so being in relationship with that sensation is part of healing in connection.

Speaker 1: 30:14

If I wasn't witnessing other people in their train wreck or in their conversations or in their advice, I wouldn't have the opportunity to be in my discomfort. I wouldn't have the opportunity to be in my discomfort. I wouldn't have the opportunity to just be still with my thoughts and my discomforts and just be with it, like there was nothing that had to be said, nothing that had to be done. I am God's spark, and so is everybody else, and I can trust the God in them and they can just find their way. I don't have to contribute. It's an opportunity. Just find their way. I don't have to contribute. It's an opportunity. And I also see the way the universal intelligence weaves in like it doesn't have to be done by me, I can trust that it will be done and done by someone else.

Speaker 1: 30:54

Not quite the same with dishes, because we can't really look at dishes and say it will be done by Godspark. It is somewhat different. There are things that we need to put effort in in our environment, but there's a place to heal that. When we're doing it from anxiousness, because we want to feel different, we want a different state, because the carrot here is, if you're always doing things so you could feel comfortable and safe in your space, you don't get to experience what it feels like to just be in discomfort long enough to learn who you are in that discomfort and be able to move past it.

Speaker 1: 31:46

And Brenda talked about this slightly, about the other side of that coin for people who are used to just leaving things like, oh, I don't need, I'm going to do that later, I'm going to do that later, I'm going to do that later and the dishes are never getting done and the clothes is never getting folded and the taxes are never getting done. That's a different spot. But I don't think that the people who are not moving are actually sitting in their discomfort. That is their comfort zone. The discomfort would be to move and go do the thing as fast as possible. And for you, the listener, you get to decide which one are you. Are you the one that it's uncomfortable to leave the dishes, or it's uncomfortable to do the dishes Because we all have different lessons and so it's. How can I be value neutral and I'm doing the dishes because they need to get done, but not because I'm uncomfortable because they're not done, or I'm uncomfortable because I have to do them? It can just be, I'm just doing the dishes and that's ultimately what we're looking for. That is what heals that part of the anxiety.

Speaker 1: 32:51

The anxiousness comes from overstimulation and our need for things to be a certain way, and that's where that anxiety purr starts to happen in the body. I love how Brenda talked about like just putting your hand in certain places. I often, when I was working on my heart opening, would just put my hand on my heart, often just like oh, my chest feels tight, it's difficult to take a deep breath, and can I just be with myself and work with my breath until I can take a deep breath? Often it would be two, three minutes, not two or three hours, but it could feel like it's two or three minutes. It could feel like it's a lifetime of connecting with yourself. It's often just a few seconds.

Speaker 2: 33:38

Yeah, two or three minutes of a practice can go a really long way, cause, like you said in your story, was is learning how to take the pause, learning how to take the pause and using that pause really well, and that's why the thing I wanted to share, also to add to this conversation, is getting out of the mind and getting into the body. Is is really the nugget here, and paralleled with that is having some practices that you can go to to work with this part of yourself. So you can't always talk yourself out of anxiety. Sometimes you just actually need to completely pivot. You can sit with the practices that we've talked about. Like you said, you noticed oh my, I don't need to contribute here. I can take the pause, I could sit with this as comfort, you notice the cost and then you change the behavior over time.

Speaker 2: 34:34

What I'm pointing to is having some practices that you can go to so that when you're feeling anxious, you don't have to sit and stew in this discomfort. This is why we go to, so that when you're feeling anxious, you don't have to sit and stew in this discomfort. This is why we go to yoga, this is why we do meditation, this is why we do breathing exercises or taking a walk, or spending time in nature or going to the gym, whatever the practice is that you do. This is why we do them, so that when the shit hits the fan, when we're feeling anxious, we're not sitting there going. Oh my God, what do I do now? This is what your practices are for.

Speaker 2: 35:14

You're having a really hard time, you're feeling really anxious? Go to a yoga class, go take a walk, do a writing practice or do one of the things that we talked about putting your hand on your heart, noticing the sensations in your body. This is why we practice so that when we need it, we have a fallback, we have something to go to, and that has been an absolute lifesaver for me, because sometimes, when the shit hits the fan and your mind is spinning, that is not the time to say, oh, I need to find a yoga studio or I need a yoga mat. You have these things in place, and this is why we say take care of yourself, have some practices that you can build so you can go to them, you can fall back on them when you need.

Speaker 1: 36:01

You're making me think of, like what it would be like if you don't know how to drive and you're like, oh, I need to get over there, I need to get, grab the keys and grab the car, Like no, that's not when you learn how to drive. You don't learn how to drive when you need to take somebody to the hospital or when you have an emergency or something urgent. You learn how to drive the car beforehand and now you'd have the skill, you have a driver's license and that's when something happens you have to take somebody. That's somewhere you then are able more than able to move the car. So, likewise, when we have to heal because of potentially, we have anxiousness because our body's telling us to do something or our body's telling us to avoid something. Either way, the noise is somewhat the same in the physical nervous system, where it feels like you have test tightening, test test chest tightening and difficulty taking a deep breath. Ultimately, we want to be able to heal what the constant movement avoids, or heal what our non-movement is trying to avoid, and we're only going to be with that if we can pause and be in relationship with ourselves and the discomfort. There is no leap to the other side. Like you said before, there is a noticing step.

Speaker 1: 37:22

We really wanted to bring this forward today to talk to everyone about anxiousness, anxiety and what this like purr in the body, this purring in the body to move or not move, or what it feels like in that little crevice corner of anxiousness, whether it's hormonal, environmental, circumstantial, it's still an opportunity for you to learn how to be with you. Hopefully, some of our suggestions today brought you a little clarity, brought you a little closer to yourself. That's our goal with this particular episode. We love you so much. We can't wait to see you again. It's a wrap. Bye for now.

Speaker 1: 38:14

Thank you for joining us on the Desire is Medicine podcast Desire invites us to be honest, loving and deeply intimate with ourselves and others. You can find our handles in the show notes. We'd love to hear from you.