109 ~ Why Real Change Takes Time: How to Stay the Course

Personal transformation does not fit neatly into a 90-day program. In this conversation, Catherine and Brenda explore why meaningful growth often takes years or decades, and why that timeline is both natural and necessary.

They reflect on what sustains the process when change feels slow: forgiving who we were, showing compassion for how long it takes, and facing reality without judgment. Many of the most difficult patterns are not entirely our own, but are carried through family lineage. Even so, they become ours to transform.

While breakthroughs can happen quickly, lasting transformation requires practice and the steady development of new skills. What keeps many people stuck is self-judgment and wishing things were different rather than working with what is.

They also examine the habit of projecting today’s awareness onto past versions of ourselves, shaming who we were for not knowing better. This retroactive perfectionism creates shame instead of honoring the growth already made. The shift comes when we move from a perfection mindset to a practice mindset, treating life as a series of learning opportunities instead of tests.

Transformation is possible, but it happens one step at a time, often with wobbles along the way. Like learning to ride a bike, growth requires falling, adjusting, and building the muscle memory for a new way of being.

Episode Highlights
• The gap between instant gratification and the reality that growth takes years
• How inherited family patterns become ours to transform
• The difference between sudden breakthroughs and gradual skill-building
• How judgment and perfectionism keep us stuck in shame
• Accepting reality as it is before change can occur
• Why loving former versions of ourselves supports growth
• Moving from a perfection mindset to a practice mindset
• Viewing challenges as learning opportunities rather than pass/fail tests

We would love to know what landed for you in this episode. What are you working on that might be taking a day, a week, a decade or maybe even a lifetime. Please tell us, rate, review and share this episode with someone you love.

Chapters

• 1:34 The Middle: Building the Bridge
• 5:05 Ingredients for Growth: Forgiveness & Compassion
• 9:26 Seven Generations: Inherited Patterns
• 13:01 Quantum Healing vs. Skill Building
• 17:41 Acceptance: Looking at Reality
• 23:31 Loving Your Former Self
• 34:03 The Practice Mindset
• 37:10 Accepting Reality Without Judgment

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:08

Welcome to Desire is Medicine. We are two very different women living a life led by desire, inviting you into our world.

Speaker 2: 0:16

I'm Brenda. I'm a devoted practitioner to being my fully expressed true self in my daily life. Motherhood relationships and my business Desire has taken me on quite a ride and every day I practice listening to and following the voice within. I'm a middle school teacher turned coach and guide of the feminine.

Speaker 1: 0:36

And I'm Catherine, devoted to living my life as the truest and hopefully the highest version of me. I don't have children, I've never been married. I've spent equal parts of my life in corporate as in some down and low shady spaces. I was the epitome of tired and wired and my path led me to explore desire. I'm a coach, guide, energy worker and a forever student.

Speaker 2: 0:58

Even after decades of inner work, we are humble beginners on the mat, still exploring, always curious. We believe that listening to and following the nudge of desire is a deep spiritual practice that helps us grow.

Speaker 1: 1:12

On the Desires Medicine podcast. We talk to each other, we interview people we know and love about the practice of desire, bringing in a very important piece that is often overlooked being responsible for our desire. Hello, welcome back. Family, friends, listeners. I am here with the lovely Brenda, so happy to have her. It's actually great to co-create this podcast with her and to have you guys listen, because without you there would be no podcast. So thanks so much for being here and listening and tuning in.

Speaker 1: 1:47

Brennan and I have been talking about sort of the middle. We had a podcast about this, I think really early on, of what it feels like when you're in the middle, and when I mean the middle, it means you're not completely, completely oblivious to where you are or where you want to go. But the bridge hasn't been fully formed between where you are and where you want to go, and that bridge is composed of tons of skills that need to be created and adapted and habits, and we're specifically speaking about the skills that need to be created when it's just us, when we want to become a better version of ourselves, and this work cannot be outsourced. It is just us Either we do it or we don't do it, but it's just us. And then our desire for instant gratification and how personal growth shows up in the field. When I say the field, maybe I mean the world. Personal growth will show up like learn these three steps to love yourself. Follow or do this nine month or nine day or 90 day challenge to love yourself more. Nobody's like, hey, let's carve out 20 years so that everything and its mother that comes in between. That's you, that's how you love yourself. That's how you get there. Do it Click, buy, because nobody's buying. Nobody's buying into a 20-year anything. But the truth is that a lot of the things that I've been able to accomplish in my own personal growth has taken decades, and so how do we account for the truth that we want it right now or yesterday, but it will take what it takes. Maybe for you it's fast, maybe it isn't. It would also take some unforeseen skills and bridges that need to be crossed. With all of that, brenda and I have been talking about the parts that we don't necessarily always talk about, and when I say we, I just mean in the personal development field. We're not always like you need to come with these ingredients because they are personal things that we need to come with Things like forgiveness.

Speaker 1: 4:23

Can we forgive ourselves for who we've been? Can we forgive ourselves for how long it's going to take? Can we have compassion for how long it's going to take? Can we be with the grief that we aren't that person? Can we put enough love on ourselves to love ourselves through the transition to be with ourselves under all these conditions? Can we be with the discomfort of the unknown, not knowing how long something's going to take? And I'm sure there are many more On that note, brenda.

Speaker 2: 5:03

Well, I will say that our soul has bought into 20 years plus. I really want to open with that because that feels really true. Our soul is a big old. Let's get into the 20 year situation or longer. There's things that I'm learning that I know. I've been learning my entire life and I know I will continue to unfold and learn these things. So let's just say that our soul is on board, our human not so much all the time, right, but there does come a turning point. Right, but there does come a turning point.

Speaker 2: 6:04

Did you ever see that meme where it's like before spiritual development, the person's like being kicked down the street, you know, and then after spiritual growth, like you take the boot and you like stick it on your own head. You're like let's go. I don't know if I said that right, but you know what I mean. It's like, oh yeah, we can actually enjoy the process as we go and we know it's going to be uncomfortable. Any growth. There's something that needs to change, like something is changing internally and that takes time. It could be uncomfortable, it could be messy, there's uncertainty involved and can we be with that? We just wanted to slow it down and really talk about that in this episode, that this takes time, and that is correct. A language you know over days and weeks, and that's great, and our brain needs that and our self-esteem needs to learn things in there. You could learn to cook in a few hours. You can learn to make something really delicious and that's wonderful and we need that in our life. And sometimes there's certain lessons that are so big that they just take maybe your whole lifetime to learn, because you've inherited them. You've inherited them from your parents, your grandparents, your ancestors. They say seven generations in each direction. So these things are not ours in that we've inherited them in our cells, in our DNA, and they're also ours to work on in this lifetime, because here we are in our bodies, experiencing these things. It's worthy of saying that it's both and that these things take time to learn Something that your DNA is coded towards or how you grew up.

Speaker 2: 7:43

First of all, it takes you a while to even be aware of this, like, oh, the rest of the world doesn't think this way.

Speaker 2: 7:51

Just the awareness alone doesn't even kick in for everyone. And then, once you're aware of it, the time it takes to shift. And so in our last episode, if you were listening, or maybe you're just new to this episode, but we really wanted to give them know that, first of all, not everything takes that long. There is quantum healing, for sure, and we are open to that, and these things are a journey path of something that is taking you decades or feels like you've always been this way and you're exhausted and upset and discouraged. Just know that every day that you even put your attention on this thing and you have the desire to shift it and you take any baby step towards it, any new level of awareness or spark that drops into your body, that is something. Don't discount that, because every spark leads to another spark and then over time, we can change, and we really wanted to let you know that in this episode we did.

Speaker 1: 9:30

But you've also brought something in about seven generations forward, seven generations back. I want to circle back to that. And you said you know it's not ours and it's ours, it's both. What does that mean? It's not ours? If it's in our DNA, it's in our lineage, then wouldn't it be ours? What part of it is not ours?

Speaker 2: 9:50

Well, it's not ours in that we didn't create it. So if there's a pattern in your family that you were born into, you didn't create that. You were born into it. It came from your parents or your grandparents or your great-grandparents, or perhaps further down the line than that. So it's not yours in that you inherited this belief system or this pattern. It's coded into your body. So it's not yours. You didn't start it. But then it is yours because you're living with it and you're living with the experience of this pattern or belief system.

Speaker 1: 10:31

So it's yours and if you want to change it, then it's yours to do changing something that's ours, then when do you like I think you just gave a great example of you have something from your lineage, you identify it as not yours because you didn't originally create it. Let's use personal growth, so there's a pattern, I don't know. Give me something that you've worked on Well, I've worked on money.

Speaker 2: 11:01

There's a survival pattern. That's been in my family. There's food patterns. Pick one.

Speaker 1: 11:08

Okay, let's say it's money and you have a survival pattern that came. That's very common and I think very few people don't have it. I guess I would say with money and you have a survival pattern with money, it's not yours, it was created eons ago by ancestors. Now it's ours. So when do we create something else? I think we're only creating patterns when we intentionally do something with it. Otherwise, I think most everything we have is not ours.

Speaker 2: 11:37

That's a great point. I mean, I think it's really a mix. And when does it become ours? It becomes ours because we're living our life and we're existing on this earth, so we've inherited the thing. And it becomes ours because we do different things with it, and then we perhaps get with a partner and create children and have a new iteration of the pattern that's mixed with the other person's DNA, of the pattern that's mixed with the other person's DNA.

Speaker 1: 12:06

Yes, so we have patterns that we create, with theirs being the original, I guess, and then we're affecting the patterns ahead of us because, well, it hasn't been mutated or alchemized quite just yet. So thank you for circling back on that one. And then you said a different word, which was super interesting. We haven't talked about this yet Quantum healing. And you know Dr Joe Dispenza talks a lot about this, the idea that you can heal from something in milliseconds, which is true, it is possible. And I also want to argue that healing is one thing, for example, not having the scarcity mindset around money. Let's say you can heal that part, but with that healing doesn't come how to manage money, like the quantum leap.

Speaker 1: 12:58

Healing doesn't address all the other skills that are required to maintain the healed state, which is very interesting, right, like I'm thinking of people that go to whether it's a Joe Dispenza event, or they go. They have a diagnosis and they go to Peru and they go to the mountains, and they do this and they do that and they're healed, and then they come back into Western society, to their normal jobs, their normal to-dos, and well, something else pops up it's like that particular state, that healed state, requires a particular way of living, and so quantum healing is a possibility and quantum leaps are possible. They just don't often take into account the things that are required to maintain that state, and it has to integrate. Well, the lessons weren't learned. It wasn't attained through like a change in circumstance, it was attained through like a miraculous quantum event sort of thing. So what would you say is something that you had to bring to your personal development so that you could stay in the game and not quit.

Speaker 2: 14:16

That's such a good question. I thought you were going to ask me about quantum healing, because I am no expert on that. It's actually one of my desires. I've been trying to learn about quantum physics.

Speaker 1: 14:27

I have some play in that arena, but I think that when we're thinking about our path right now, with personal development and our current mood let's call it universal mood with all the humans, of how we would like something to come right out of the microwave or right out of the revolving door, what's required of us to become, the versions that we want to become, taking all of the things into account, and what we want to say yes to, they're not all the same, and it's not to make people scared. It's sort of to talk about it and say it could take a quantum minute and there could be some residue of oh, I didn't learn some skills, but I do have the quantum healing. Now what? Or it could take more than the five-day challenge to get past the hurdle you have and get closer to the person you're looking to become. And if it takes longer than that, let's talk about the real. Real, what it takes to stay the course, because it's really easy to quit?

Speaker 2: 16:00

So easy to quit the real, real. There's so many answers to that. I don't know that. There's really just one thing. One of the earliest ones was well, I was just going to say something and then I realized there's something even before. That is the desire. You know the desire. There's some desire and letting, and following that, there's something that you want some change, something new that you want that requires a change. So I think that might be the beginning. I see you thinking what are you thinking?

Speaker 1: 16:30

You tossed me, not tossed me literally, but I, like went all the way back to that statement, reminded me of my own path, like what was the desire? And I remember being very angry at 19,. Being in a street fight went sideways super fast where I thought I was going to kill someone I don't know if I've talked about this on the podcast and I felt like, oh, I am sort of in somewhat of a prison. I can't control my emotions. I don't have I didn't have the words back then, but I didn't have emotional sobriety.

Speaker 1: 17:13

I didn't have the ability to not go on my emotional ride, especially if it was like anger, and so, for sure, that was a desire of mine. I thought to myself, what would it be like to feel and not go on the ride? And I hadn't made the connection before. But it looks like my first step was to just shut down from feeling, to do my best to suppress so that I didn't feel completely in my involuntary around it, and that wasn't helpful. That was just a pendulum swing. I had to then learn how to feel the unknown of being in my involuntary, and learning how to manage that terrain.

Speaker 1: 18:07

And so that's what I thought about when you said that, oh, I'm like, oh yes, I remember that desire and I think compassion is also something that's needed in these. I wanted to say it's this weird sentence I want to say in the long-term journey of personal development and personal growth, because it is so long to get from point A to point B, but in between we do have some wins and in between we also have some losses, and the losses, like the failure, is part of the lesson, right?

Speaker 2: 18:46

Amen. I think that's a really important piece that can't be overlooked, and maybe that's why it takes so long. If we come back to what we're talking about in this episode, is that it does take a long time, and that's okay. Some things just maybe take a lifetime to work on, and you can't do that without failing or without falling. That is how we learn. We fall down, we say, oh, I see what happened. And then you try it again in a different way and you might move a millimeter at a time and then you might quote accomplish something or get to the next level in the game, and then there's another door and there's another thing to work on, and that's why it takes so long, because it's not one thing, everything is like 10 things or more. You know and I love what you said said that you had this desire. But I think, even before that is what it sounds like is you had this awareness, like, oh, I'm not, like I don't have, I'm not in control here, I'm out of control with this thing Like you have this awareness.

Speaker 1: 20:03

Yeah, for sure, I had the awareness. I was like, oh, this is not cool.

Speaker 2: 20:08

And then you wanted something different. So you had the awareness, and then you had the desire dropped in for something different, and then you shut yourself down. And that's the way it goes sometimes and to our point, that's why it takes so long, baby, to make these huge changes, huge.

Speaker 1: 20:33

I think the thing that I'm noticing as we're talking about this particular part like and I guess I can see it a little more because it's my life experience but it requires so much acceptance. It requires, oh, I am being this person. Well, this is embarrassing, this sucks. Like this sucks and let me say that again, like this sucks. Right, having the real come to Jesus, the real. My goodness, I can't believe I'm showing up in this way. Oh my goodness, I can't believe I'm experiencing this. Oh my goodness, I can't believe I don't have control of this. Oh my God, I can't believe I am not where I thought I would be, that piece of being with what is, even when you're in disapproval of it. I think that's what prolongs the transition state, because we've said this a gazillion times you cannot beat yourself into a different version of yourself. You can't hate yourself to a different version of yourself. It requires you to be in acceptance and love for it.

Speaker 2: 21:44

Totally and it messes with your sense of identity, of who you were. You know, in the last episode I talked about my desire to really listen to people instead of always turning it around and making it about myself, and I had to look in the mirror and be like, oh my God, I'm one of those people who just doesn't listen to someone and just responds with a story about myself. Oh, like, I didn't like that. But I had to be willing to look at myself in reality and say, oh, this is what, this is what I'm doing, and and learn to separate. That isn't me, that's my behavior, that's my learned behavior. And then I have the desire to shift it.

Speaker 2: 22:28

So it messes with your sense of identity, which can feel really bad, let's just say it in a really basic way. And it's easy to beat yourself up because you thought you were somebody, one person, one kind of person, and now it turns out you're somebody else, maybe someone that you have some judgment about, and so having judgment about yourself is hard right, and if you're someone who runs perfectionist patterns, like I have, it's really hard to not see yourself as a perfect citizen, and so you have to be willing to say, oh, I'm just a flawed human being, which is normal. We're all that way. I don't say that in a derogatory way. It's just. We're just. You know we mess up. This is how we learn, this is.

Speaker 2: 23:17

But I didn't always know that. I didn't always like that about myself, so I had to be willing to look at that in order to make any kind of change. If you're not willing to look at yourself in reality, you're not going to make a change. If you're lying to yourself, you're just going to stay where you are because you can't deal with the truth, the truth that is needed, that you need to admit in order to make a change. It's humbling and it's not always pretty, but it's real. So if you're willing to look in the mirror at your own darkness, at your own shadow, and you can really look at it, then you could shift it. But until then, you're just going to swirl around and not much is going to happen.

Speaker 1: 24:13

For sure. I mean, you need awareness of what's occurring and what the reality is first but for sure. Perfectionism is rampant and I think a lot of us have that and it's completely unrealistic. It literally doesn't exist. But yet there we are trying to hit a bullseye on something that doesn't exist. Perfection just doesn't exist, and so it doesn't exist.

Speaker 1: 24:44

And then we beat ourselves up because we're not the version of ourselves that we wanted to be, we have judgment about it, because we're not perfect. And then it becomes so hard to love ourselves because we're not meeting the fantasy of ourselves that we would like to meet. And then it's very hard for other people to love us when we're not in acceptance of where we are and who we are. It's very hard for us to love ourselves if we are not in approval of where we are and who we are, and so you can't love yourself, you can't change it, you can't be loved by others. All these things come from wanting to be a mannequin instead of being human, wanting to have this perfect way or this quantum leap. Let's just get there, skip all the ugly steps, I can just do it in a millisecond. Where is that quantum time machine? And realizing oh, there's no time machine, but what will have, what will impact the gears here, will be forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, pouring love on where we are. So how would you say you've been able to touch that?

Speaker 2: 26:12

Pouring love on myself wherever I am, pouring love on myself wherever I am. I mean, the biggest way I've learned that lesson was it was hard. You know, I was in a really hard spot. I would say I was in a spot where I was collapsed and in a shame spiral and I was there for a long time. It feels like I was there for a few years until I just felt some spark to shift it or some level of awareness kicked in where I was willing to just look at it and love myself.

Speaker 2: 26:49

There was taking responsibility. For me, it was taking responsibility without collapsing, like the taking of responsibility and saying, oh, I did this thing. For me was the shift, because when you take responsibility, you're accepting what you did and owning it and there's something really humbling and beautiful about that that shifts the field and it shifts it inside of of you, because the pretending that it's not real is the really painful piece. That's the part that kept me in shame and collapse was the not wanting to look at it, but the looking at it, the willingness to look at it, was the healing moment and to just say and accept myself like I'm human, like I really did the best that I could, and we talked about that a lot on this podcast and you said something really great once what if every decision I made was the best one? What if it was? And you know it's easy to look back in hindsight and say, oh, I made that wrong decision or oh, I didn't do that or I would have done it differently. I have a million of those. We could do a whole podcast on all of the things that Brenda thinks she could have done differently, but it took me a while to really get into agreement and understand this concept of what if everything was the best decision. What if I did the best that I could along the way and really just get into agreement with that and accept myself.

Speaker 2: 28:23

And here's another piece is I did this for a while. It's really painful and I don't recommend it is I would learn something and so I would have some new awareness and then I would project that onto my former self. So let's just go back to being a listener like oh, oh my God, look at, look at all the ways that I wasn't a good listener back then and how I turned it onto myself and just beat myself up for that. Oh my God, that's so painful, it's so painful. So the going back and projecting on yourself is just like going back and shitting on your past self. I just had to stop that and that's just acceptance, like just accepting myself where I am and accepting my former self where I was. So I had to go back and love the former versions of myself that didn't know what I know now and you could feel the perfection that runs through that, like, oh, I learned something and I'm going to project it on my past self so I could have been a little bit more perfect. It's just painful.

Speaker 1: 29:42

It's painful, I would say. It's sort of like we're not accepting reality, and by not accepting reality it means, oh, I'm going to think about that former version of me that would think about herself and need to speak. I'm going to use this as an example. I don't know if this is what you went through. I'm just going to, for teaching purposes, talk about it because I think it's a great example. My goodness, I can't believe I you know air quotes. I can't believe I was that person that didn't listen, and I definitely did this too. I think it was just a former way of communicating. That is how I learned how to communicate. I think even to today, if I look around, you say your thing, they say their thing, and then we had a conversation, and that's sort of what conversations look like.

Speaker 1: 30:27

But if I look back at that time and I say that version of me should have known better, well, okay, if I want to put perfection on it, but I have proof that that version of me didn't know better Because that version of me didn't do better. So that version of me didn't know because I didn't do it. That is the actual proof. And the homework is can I just be with that truth and not make it wrong Like there's nothing wrong with that version of me. Maybe that version of me needed to practice being heard. Maybe that version of me didn't have that many outlets to speak. Maybe that version of me really wanted to be seen. Maybe that version of me really wanted to be seen. Maybe that version of me was practicing her voice in a different way. It's sort of she didn't know. That version of me didn't know how to do better, and whatever she was doing was the best she was doing with what she had, because of something that I'm having difficulty seeing because I'm too busy looking at it like it was wrong. And so, if I can just see it as reality and say, oh, that version of me, she was doing the best she could, that's true, she was speaking in this way, but it was for a reason. I don't need to know the reason, because whatever happened there contributed to where I am now, like for sure, 1000%. I'm, without a doubt, clear on that.

Speaker 1: 32:04

I also want to circle back to when you said you quoted me where I say what if the choices I've made actually have been the best choices? And this is a choice or a thought that I choose to think. I don't know how many listeners are doing thought work, but thought work is when you have a thought and that thought is not serving you. So the thought of oh, this version of me should have known better.

Speaker 1: 32:34

That thought is not helping, because all it does is have me not want to be with reality of what was happening and it wants me to make things different in a past. I actually cannot do that. It is not within the realm of possibility on this human plane. But I can decide that I've made the best choices and my life, no matter how great or how bad the life I'm living, is actually the best life that I could have. And it's not to be complacent, like. What I'm saying isn't to make it complacent, it's that the thought is helpful so that I don't beat myself up for things that I actually have no control over. And so when we're originally talking about today, how do you stay in the room? It's going to require these creative ways of being with yourself. Like what do you need so that you could see that where you are right now is perfect In this imperfect world? I'm not talking about perfect in the realm of perfection, I'm talking about perfect from the realm of, there's nothing to change.

Speaker 2: 34:12

And if there's nothing to change, can I be compassionate towards myself? Can I be loving towards myself? Can I be in acceptance that I am with something that's unknown Like I'm wanting to go somewhere that I've never been, to become the person that I haven't been? I helped us stay in the room, which was what you originally asked me, and we've just had this juicy conversation, pass, fail, win, lose, right, wrong into a growth-oriented mindset, into a practice mindset. Everything can be a practice and an opportunity for growth, as opposed to perfection and right and wrong. Just going in with that lens changed everything, because then I could go to bed at night and say it's not like I'm sucked or one in life, it's like, well, what did I learn and how do I want to shift this and do it a little bit better tomorrow. And that, folks, is the only way. It's just the only way.

Speaker 2: 35:14

It's like one moment at a time. That's how we learn to ride a bike. You know you fall over, it's wobbly. You learn how to use your muscles, you learn how to hold the bike so you can actually get somewhere. But it takes a while. There's a learning curve and, depending on what you're learning, it might take a long time and we're giving a lot of love and approval for that. And this is where teachers and coaches come in. That could be really helpful, because we can only see what we can see, and the beautiful thing about a coach or a teacher is that they show you your blind spots in a really loving way. And that is what Catherine and I do, hopefully, on this podcast, and we do it in our private practice. We lovingly walk you into the parts of yourself that might be blocking you and if you're willing to look at that, which takes a lot of love and willingness and desire, then you can shift your life. It is possible.

Speaker 1: 36:29

It is really possible. I mean, we're living examples of that. I would say another thing that has been very important for me in my path has been to just learn to accept reality and not make it something horrendous or this mountain to climb, or this cross to bear, or it's just life, or it's just life. And I don't know when we decided as a collective that life is supposed to be easy, because I haven't met a single person where life is easy. Yes, we have different levels of problems and we could all judge other people and say, oh, my problems are bigger than yours. Everybody has the opportunity to do that, because we all think our problems are the most important. If we go back to the conversation of how we tend to communicate I say my problem, then you say your problem. We're always talking about problems Because we think ours is the hardest. But it isn't. Our problems are hard for us. That's why it's there on our path, so that we could learn, so that we could be carved, so that we can become the people that we want to become, so that that hardship shows us an awareness of where we are, so that that hardship shows us an awareness of where we are.

Speaker 1: 37:59

And I love, brenda, how you spoke about how we walk our clients. This is a big part of my work, for sure I'm sure yours as well. Our reality doesn't have to be a problem. It just looks like this, and if we wanted to look differently, then we just work towards it being different, but the faster that we see that right now is not horrendous, it's not a problem, it's not the worst thing ever. We can see our blessings and continue, and so we've touched on so much today. Brenda, I'm going to pass it to you. But what I'm hearing us say is we have to accept reality. We have to lovingly acknowledge ourselves the best we can. Stay in the room, whether it's a coach, therapist or a different way. Have compassion for ourselves, forgiveness, because we will mess up, we will fall. Think about that 1%. Better. Be willing to be with what we don't know, because we just don't know what it's going to take to get there, because we haven't been there.

Speaker 2: 39:01

Right, amen. Trust yourself, trust your desire, lean in, accept yourself, love yourself. Have the courage, have the gumption to take that baby step and go to sleep at night and ask yourself what did I do great today at, and what do I want to do a little bit better at tomorrow, and watch your world shift. We would love to know what landed for you in this episode. We would love to know what you're working on that might be taking a day, a week, a decade or maybe a lifetime. Please tell us, share this episode with someone who might like it and leave us a review. We so, so appreciate you.

Speaker 1: 39:53

Until next time you Until next time. Thank you for joining us on the Desire is Medicine podcast. Desire invites us to be honest, loving and deeply intimate with ourselves and others. You can find our handles in the show notes. We'd love to hear from you.