146 ~ Brenda & Catherine's Favorite Digestion Tools

You know that feeling after something big happens and you should feel “fine,” but your body says otherwise? We get honest about what it actually looks like to digest life, from the most beautiful experiences to the hard ones, so they do not linger as anxiety, emotional charge, or nonstop mental replay. We share the practices we use to process and integrate what we live, and how following desire can be a grounded spiritual path rather than a constant chase. 

We break down digestion into a simple, practical lanes: moving, talking, and stillness, plus direct and indirect ways to integrate. You’ll hear how we ask for support with clear consent, why crying in someone’s arms can be a complete nervous system reset, and how movement like dancing, walking, yoga, or even higher-intensity workouts can help metabolize what the mind cannot solve. We also talk about the quieter tools that work when you are overstimulated, including laying flat, napping, Yoga Nidra, and meditation. 

Then we get into the unexpectedly powerful rituals: nature as a teacher of impermanence, pleasure and touch, showers and baths as energetic cleansing, grounding food, and cooking as a symbolic act of making something new. We also name writing as a way to capture insight after joy or grief, and we explore Seva, selfless service, as a spiritual practice that includes cleaning and caring for the space that holds you. 

What’s your most reliable way to digest life when it hits?

Some Episode gems bulleted: 
• using a witness and clear asks with trusted friends  
• releasing through tears, touch, hugs, and being held  
• moving energy with dancing, walking, workouts, and yoga  
• using stillness practices like laying flat, naps, Yoga Nidra, and meditation  
• creating time and space in the calendar for integration  
• grounding with nature, baths, showers, food, and cooking  
• indirect digestion through light movies or calming shows  
• writing gratitudes and reflections to capture insight  
• organizing the home to clear the mind and reset perception  
• practicing Seva as selfless service and cleaning as spiritual integration  

Transcript

Welcome And Host Introductions

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Welcome to Desire is Medicine. We are two very different women living a life led by desire, inviting you into our world. I'm Brenda.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

I'm a devoted practitioner to being my fully expressed true self in my daily life, motherhood, relationships, and my business. Desire has taken me on quite a ride, and every day I practice listening to and following the voice within. I'm a middle school teacher, turned coach and guide of the feminine.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

And I'm Catherine, devoted to living my life as the truest and hopefully the highest version of me. I don't have children, I've never been married, I've spent equal parts of my life in corporate as in some down and low shady spaces. I was the epitome of Tired and Wired, and my path led me to explore desire. I'm a coach, guide, energy worker, and a forever student.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

Even after decades of inner work, we are humble beginners, on the mat, still exploring, always curious. We believe that listening to and following the nudge of desire is a deep spiritual practice that helps us grow.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

On the Desire as Medicine podcast, we talk to each other, we interview people we know and love about the practice of desire, bringing in a very important piece that is often overlooked: being responsible for our desire.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Welcome back, family, friends, listeners to another episode of Desire as Medicine

Catherine’s Ways To Process Experiences

SPEAKER_01 1:31

Podcasts. And I am here with my lovely co-host Brenda. We have been talking all things digestion. Like what happens when we have big experiences, small experiences, experiences, what do we make it mean? And how do we sort of move through them and reap the benefits, the wisdom, or not? How do we get to a place where we're value neutral around something and not necessarily charged? And what does that look like? So we've been talking about it from different angles. And on this episode, Brenda and I wanted to pause and talk about what it looks like for us. First, we contemplated doing a mini toolbox so we could walk you through it. And then she and I started talking about it. And the truth of the matter is, like all things, this podcast, she and I do it very differently. So if I had a very big experience, I'll start with myself. One of the first things that I probably would do is reach out to someone, one of my splunkers, one of my closest BFFs, and say, hey, do you have time? Do you have some time? I want to sort of talk through something. Something just happened, and I would love to be witnessed around this, or I'd love some clarity. Usually it's intentional. Like I let them know ahead of time what I need. I need you to just hear me out. No, no feedback, or I would love your perspective. I'm sort of lost on this, don't know. Or I would love for you to give me the pro on this. Like, what is the positive thing that's coming out of this? That's just to name a few things, but that is my preferred way of digesting or getting to the other side of a lived experience. And as Brenda and I were talking, Brenda, my manifesting generator friend, was like, I don't even know if she said 10 or 16. She's like, I have so many. And I was like, what? So I'm going to see what other things pop up in my mind. The other one would be if I'm with someone and I ask them just to hold me, chances are I would cry. And that would be a way of me like releasing and processing something. I'd probably cry with no words. That's usually my go-to. I like to drop in really deeply in my body and get really anchored. And the let like just let the tears run down my face. It's my preferred way of release. I tend to feel so much space in my body after that. A third way would be potentially to dance it out, just turn on some music and dance, maybe go for, I haven't done this in a long time, but when I was fitter, I would go for a walk, maybe like a run, to just get it out of my system. And so that would encompass boot camps or I think boxing class was one of them at a time when I had more rage. Spin class, you go, anything that has a lot of speed would be a great way for me to digest life in real time when I could feel it like the heaviness more in my body versus in my mind. And then there are more gentler ways that I do it. So what have I already said? How many have I given? Three. I'm like, I really had said to Brenda, I just do it one way. And she was like, What? And so I love that I'm as I'm talking them out now, more popping up in my mind. Sometimes I do the lay flat where I just hit a wall in my day, and I'm like, and it's not necessarily a big life event, just I am overwhelmed, I'm overstimulated, there's a lot happening, and I will pause. And that can take three forms. Maybe I've hit a wall, I'm overly exhausted, I'm gonna take a nap. I've hit a wall, not overly exact exhausted, actually overly simulated, and I would pause and lay flat on the ground, eyes open, just looking up, or maybe I'll meditate. Uh, and that could look like a Yoga Nitra or a Vedic practice that I have of transcendent meditation. Those are my preferred ways. So I'm either moving, talking, or still. Stillness with what's occurring for me is really helpful because I try to like block out the world in that time so I could just be with whatever's occurring. I tend to get the biggest bang for my book in that way. And with that, I'm gonna pass it to my Manny Gen friend here, Miss Brenda.

Brenda’s Digestion Framework And Practices

SPEAKER_02 6:20

It's so fun to be a manifesting generator. I have to say, I'm so excited about this. This is like a Virgo dream, this episode. Like getting into the nitty-gritty details of digestion. Every sign has their bodily function that works with the sign. I'm not well-versed on all of them, but I will tell you that Virgo is digestion, which is why sometimes I will have digestion issues, like literal digestion issues in my body. I've worked with that a lot with my gut. And so I am really good at digestion. And while I was listening to you, Catherine, I realized I actually at this point have digestion built into my life. I'm always digesting life. I think that's why one of the reasons why I'm going so much slower in my life these days. And even when I'm going fast, I have time built in for digestion. But it wasn't always that way. But I've learned these things along the way on my spiritual journey. So let's dive in. I love what you said, that they're a combination of moving, talking, and stillness. That's great because our whole intention with this episode is for our listeners to ask themselves, how do I want to digest my life? So those are some great categories: moving, talking, and stillness. And then there's direct and indirect ways. All of my ways of digesting experiences, big and small, all have to do with creating time and space for myself. So I would say that creating space for myself in my calendar is an intentional thing that I do in advance. So if I know that I am working at a retreat, I will block off the a few days when I get back. I'm very intentional about that to the extent that I'm able to. So space and time is huge, creating it so that I can do all the things that I'm about to tell you. A lot of the digestion that I am doing, that we we're doing, is in our bodies. We're we're taking a new experience and we want to integrate it and metabolize it so it becomes part of us. So the body things that I do are in no particular order, and I don't necessarily do them all every time. I do yoga. You could go to a yoga class, move through poses, dance. I love to dance. It could be a slow grief kind of movement where I'm on the floor, just maybe in stillness or circling slowly, and then tears might come. Or it might be dancing to prince in my living room, digesting something because I'm feeling a lot of joy and gratitude, right? It could be anything in that range. Going on a walk. So great, especially going out in nature. Getting out into nature or wherever you are, those are two different things, walking and nature. I'm putting them together. Getting your body moving and walking, and while you're out, seeing different things, getting different perspectives helps you integrate. Nature specifically helps you integrate because nature is a great example of impermanence in life. Nature is a great example of how things are always changing and moving and that there's cycles. And so getting yourself into nature and seeing the leaves on the trees and the dirt or the ocean or the mountains, wherever you are, it's like a reminder. Oh, this is how it works. And there's like a certain rightness and acceptance that we have. Plus, we receive the beautiful benefits that nature gives us. Sex. Sex is touch, it helps you integrate, it helps you move energy, and it's just a lovely way to connect with another person during your digestion. A bath or a shower, whatever works for you. I go through phases with baths, but even just a hot shower, creaming yourself up, sometimes I really just want to wash my hair. After a big experience, I just want to be like fully cleansed. I just want to get my hands in my hair and have no barriers. I just want to like swish it around and get clean. There's something about it. It's just like a shedding. And then, of course, a bath, you can make that really beautiful and have Epsom salt in there. So you're, you know, removing any toxins. And then you just get to sit in water. That is really healing and really restful. You could have candles, you could put music on in your bath, you could make it whatever you want. You could put milk and honey in your bath. There's so many beautiful things to do. Rose petals. You know, I've been at events where I have flowers. What do you do with the flowers? You could put the petals or the flowers in your bath and just integrate it and have it be part of your come down of your digestion. Food. I love food. I love to eat. So eating really good food, I find having a burger or a steak or a potato, something grounding in my body after a big experience just helps me to come down from it. So food and then also cooking. And I don't necessarily want to cook after I have a big event. So I'll usually get food from out. But the next day or two, getting my hands into some vegetables and cutting up chicken, like getting my hands in, it's a body experience. And there's music on in the background, and I have the time and the space. And I'm like cutting things up and putting it on the stove. You're you're metabolizing something. It's symbolic. You're making something new with your hands, with your body that had this experience. And then you have something really nourishing to eat on the other side. And the experience of having your hands in the food, or maybe it's making a cake, whatever your jam is, it's really integrative and digestive and grounding to get your hands in food and make it. Even though that might seem counterintuitive, like I'm tired. What do I want to cook for? But it could be surprisingly interesting and fun. And maybe you're doing it with other people. Right. Watching a movie. Now, this is one of those that are that's indirect. Get yourself on the couch, maybe have some of that soup that you just made and watch a movie. I don't recommend very emotional or violent or scary movies. Just like a nice, neutral, happy show. Something that you laugh at, light. Nature shows are really great. Like watching those earth shows or the animals. There's so many good ones. It's very digestive to sit on the couch, snuggled up, drinking your lemon water, whatever you're doing. And it's indirect. You're just giving yourself some space and time to have that experience. And then a more direct one is writing. So you could write gratitudes for your experience. You could write out all the things that you loved, all the things that went wrong, all the things that you wish went differently, all the things that surprised and delighted you, whatever you want. You could write favorite frames and you don't have to do this for four hours and fill 72 journals. This could be a 15-minute timer where you just write gratitudes for your experience for 15 minutes. That is very digestive. And then if you want a bonus on that one, you can share it with people, but you don't have to. I had new insights, I had a new experience, and it wants to be digested and metabolized. And a really huge way that I do that is through writing. And some of my most beautiful pieces of writing come through after I had a really big, beautiful experience. And that doesn't mean that it was a happy experience. I have written a lot about my father's death. That has been some beautiful pieces of writing coming out of that too. Okay, my last one on the list, people. Are you with me? Is talking with a friend. So maybe it's somebody who was at the event or they had the experience with you. Maybe you're digesting and sharing, talking about that experience, right? Or maybe you call a friend and you say, Hey, I just had this huge vacation, course, weekend, event, day, job experience. Can I share this with you? So you're just talking about it and digesting it. So as you can tell, there is the combination. I'm gonna come back to this moving, talking, and stillness inside of all of those, and direct and indirect. And they're all good. So that's my list. I am snapping my fingers.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

I'm like, oh, that was so good. It was such a snap in. Such an extensive list. So I love that you said that you have some that are already like scheduled into your day. As as you were talking about them, I was like, oh, there's something that I do daily that I would not have thought of separately to what we're talking about here.

Writing As Integration And Afterglow

SPEAKER_01 17:20

But I tend to want to organize. So I like everything has a place and

Organizing, Seva, And Cleaning As Practice

SPEAKER_01 17:28

everything's in its place. It tends to help me have like a clean head for whatever reason. So before I go to bed, I like to sort of have everything in its place. Doesn't always happen. But when I come back from a trip, because we're talking about big experiences, you know, you come back with luggage, and that sometimes my shampoo bottles need to be refilled or things like that. I want to get that done as fast as possible so that I can put my luggage away and just have that out of my space. And I'm not looking at things that still have to be touched and handled. And there have been times when I've had surgeries or there have been inconveniences that have it be that I can't handle those pieces. And I definitely feel different depending. It's almost like once everything is in its place, I have a different perception about things. And I find that it's important for us to know what those things are for ourselves because I think it's a very individual experience. And once I learned that about myself, I said, oh, okay. So it's in my best interest to try to have a tidy home because it really has me move through the world differently, like less bogged down. So organizing my space is one. You mentioned sex. I thought about hugs. I think I I had already said hugs. And then the biggest thing that I remembered while you were talking that I said, I cannot believe we have not talked about this, is Seva. Seva is one of the best ways to digest.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

How did the Virgo forget about cleaning? Catherine. Oh my God. Can you say what you mean by Seva so everyone knows? Because I don't know that everyone knows that word.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

I would literally have to look it up on the dictionary right now, but I'll give you my non very informal definition, and then we can look it up. So my experience of Seiva is when I go somewhere and it's a way of digesting the experience. So whether I've been on, I mean, retreats really, whenever I've gone on a retreat, whether it's a quiet retreat, I'm trying to think of I've gone to like a chanting retreat, I've gone to personal development retreats. And Seva is where you give back to that community that's pouring into you, and you're basically assisting in that experience with yourself and others. So Seva could look like, and it is cleaning. So Seva could look like maybe I'm helping clean the kitchen or I'm doing dishes, or maybe I'm setting the table for people that are gonna eat, or maybe that means that I'm gonna clean the bathroom, or maybe I'm folding sheets, something that has the experience feel good, and it's my contribution. And everybody contributes, like everybody has Seva. And it's one of the ways for people to not feel full. I cannot believe we haven't thought about it. Just hasn't popped up until right now in our whole digestion era series. But yes, you can give your definition. I will ask Uncle Google. Let's see what he says.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

I first of all, you defined it perfectly. So, Seva, to my understanding, is service to the monastery. So it's exactly what you just said, where you're giving back to the space that actually holds you. And it's where the monks in the monastery are basically cleaning that, cleaning the monastery, because that is the place that's holding them in their practice. So by taking care of your home and cleaning your home, you're taking care of the space that holds you. And I'm just picturing, of course, the Virgo's getting really turned on here, but I'm just picturing like the act of laundry, washing your clothes that you wore to the XYZ event can be very intentional and digesting. I can't believe we did not even talk about that. It's easy to overlook that, but there is something really digestive about cleaning.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

Hold it up. Seva is Sanskrit. It's the concept of selfless service performed without expectation of reward or recognition aimed at benefiting others, society, or the divine. It is a spiritual practice designed to cultivate. Humility, compassion, and detachment from ego. It is often described as action with andor for others, serving as a form of worship. Key aspects of seva: selfless intent, actions are done without desire for personal gain, thanks or recognition, spiritual growth, forms of seva. It can take many forms, including physical labor, cleaning, sharing resources, money, food, or mental service, prayer, prayers, and well-wishing. Cultural context. Common examples include Langar, community kitchen, and in in Sikhism and Bandhara, charity meals in Hinduism. Key differences between seva and volunteering is that while volunteering can sometimes be goal-oriented or acknowledged, seva is explicitly focused on cultivating an attitude of humility and devotion, often serving as a tool to surrender the ego rather than just providing a service.

SPEAKER_02 22:54

That is gorgeous. I love that. And since we're talking about digesting your experiences, the key words that stand out for in Seva to me is liberation, maturity, humility, and

Integration, Wisdom, And Closing Invitation

SPEAKER_02 23:11

devotion. And really all of these things that we're talking about today are all ways to be with yourself, mature, and have more freedom inside of yourself from your experience. Whatever experience you had, either you chose it or life chose it for you. And how can we be intentional about metabolizing it into our bodies, integrating it into our systems, gaining the wisdom that is there for us so we can be an integrated, wise, mature woman walking through the world, ready for the next thing that you desire. Thank you for joining us today. While we gave you all of our tried and true practices on digesting the experiences of your life so you can metabolize and have more. Until next time.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

Thank you for joining us on the Desire is Medicine podcast. Desire invites us to be honest, loving, and deeply intimate with ourselves and others. You can find our handles in the show notes. We'd love to hear from you.