154 ~ Our Favorite Nervous System Reset Tools (Tool Box Edition)

Your body is not being dramatic. It is being protective. When everything feels like too much, the answer is rarely “push harder” and almost always “come back to center.”

Brenda and Catherine share a toolbox of their favorite nervous system regulation practices for modern overload, from constant phone input to the pressure of always being “on.” We talk about why dysregulation is a normal part of the human experience, and how regulation is less about perfection and more about returning to yourself again and again with small, repeatable supports.

You will get practical options you can try immediately: simple breath work, like box breathing and a double inhale with a long exhale, plus movement practices that discharge stress fast, including walking, stretching, yoga, dancing, and shaking. We also explore nature as a powerful co-regulator, from sky gazing and grounding to using morning sunlight to support circadian rhythm and sleep.

We go deeper into co-regulation through connection, building awareness by naming what you feel in your body, and the underrated medicine of permission: permission to rest, cry, be angry, or simply admit you do not know what to do yet. We share our favorite nervous system regulation tools to offer you some options to come back to center when life feels loud, fast, or overwhelming. 

Episode Nuggets:
• why dysregulation is normal and regulation is a practice  
• box breathing and simple breathwork to signal safety  
• movement as a reset ie. walking, yoga, stretching, shaking and dancing  
• nature as a co-regulator + sunlight for circadian rhythm support  
• connection and co-regulation through grounded people and community  
• awareness by naming sensations like urgency, racing thoughts or shutdown  
• permission to rest, cry, feel angry or not know what to do  
• spiritual practices like prayer, meditation, gratitude, journaling and energy work 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:07

Welcome

Welcome And Why Desire Matters

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to Desire is Medicine. We are two very different women living a life led by desire, inviting you into our world.

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I'm Brenda. I'm a devoted practitioner to being my fully expressed true self in my daily life, motherhood, relationships, and my business. Desire has taken me on quite a ride, and every day I practice listening to and following the voice within. I'm a middle school teacher, turned coach and guide of the feminine.

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And I'm Catherine, devoted to living my life as the truest and hopefully the highest version of me. I don't have children, I've never been married, I've spent equal parts of my life in corporate as in some down and low shady spaces. I was the epitome of Tired and Wired, and my path led me to explore desire. I'm a coach, guide, energy worker, and a forever student.

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Even after decades of inner work, we are humble beginners, on the mat, still exploring, always curious. We believe that listening to and following the nudge of desire is a deep spiritual practice that helps us grow.

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On the Desire as Medicine podcast, we talk to each other, we interview people we know and love about the practice of desire, bringing in a very important piece that is often overlooked being responsible for our desire.

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Welcome, welcome to the Desire as Medicine podcast.

The Toolbox Approach To Regulation

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This is Brenda, and I am joined here by my wonderful, beautiful co-host, Catherine Navarro. And we are here today to bring you a toolbox episode, which is one of our favorite things to do. We love recording everything for you, and we really love these toolboxes. The toolbox is a mini episode where you get to play with desire. So we talk about so many great things on this podcast. And a toolbox gives you a little pause where you get to put your hands in the clay, get your hands in the dishes in the watery, soapy water of life, and actually play with desire. We've been talking about AI, we've been talking about cell phones, we've been talking about this world where there's so much information coming at us. And our last episode was about nervous system regulation. So we thought it would be super fun to pause and give you a toolbox episode of Brenda and Catherine's favorite ways to regulate our nervous systems. What do we do when we get dysregulated? Because yes, it does happen. So Catherine's going to start us off. We have a whole bunch of juicy ideas here for you today. So stick around to the end because we really want you to listen and take these in. We are at a time in our life where there's so much information coming at us that we really have to work harder than ever to be regulated. And it's important. It matters that you're regulated. It's you feeling good in your body, you living the life that you really want to live. And you have the ability to create that for yourself. I'm not saying it's always easy, but it's possible. And the way we take care of ourselves is by leaning into what we know is good for us. So we're going to give you some of our favorite ideas and practices on how we regulate. So here we go. Catherine, take us away.

Dysregulation Is Part Of Being Human

SPEAKER_00 3:48

Thanks so much, Brenda.

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And just as a reminder, like, regulation isn't that Brenda just told you, like, of course, we get dysregulated. Getting dysregulated is part of the human experience. It's just, oh, we're off-center, off alignment, and here we are. We are wanting to come back to into alignment, come back to ourselves. And the thought is that a few generations ago, maybe over a hundred years ago, the way we lived our lives wasn't as dysregulating. Our day-to-day life wasn't as dysregulating. But the times when we were running away from tigers and bears and dinosaurs, that was probably really dysregulating. So being dysregulated is part of the human experience. It's about how do I come back to myself when life is happening? So these aren't prescriptions. There's nothing here that you have to do. We're just going to share the tools that are our favorites.

Breath Practices That Settle You

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Number one is breath. Breathing. Breath work is one of my favorites, not the traditional, like there's all these different breath works now, just traditional, like four by four box breathing, where you breathe in for four, you hold your breath for four, you exhale for four, you hold your breath for four, and you start again. That's one of my favorites. Another one of my favorites is where you breathe in, you inhale twice and you exhale once, and it sounds like. Breathing, as you breathe in, you're taking in life force. You're allowing the universe to support you. You're allowing air and space to support your nervous system. It's a chance for you to tap into abundance. Hopefully, you're not in a like a box where you are limited to air space. But there's an abundance of air. And you get to, for those three conscious breaths, just breathe, knowing that with every breath, you are being supported with life force. That's one of my favorites. Brenda, over to you.

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Just hearing you talk about those breaths, I feel more regulated. Truly. Because I was doing them as you spoke. Okay.

Movement As Fast Relief

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Tool number two is move is movement. So our bodies are meant to move. We're not meant to sit in a chair all day and be on the computer or the couch. We are meant to move. Movement helps you regulate. So what type of movement? Well, that's up to you. So some of my favorite ways to regulate through movement is walking, going on a walk, even a five-minute walk. If you can't get your 10,000 or your 5,000 steps in, if you don't have a half hour for a walk, can you do five minutes? Can you walk around the block? Not only do you get your body moving, but you get some fresh air and a perspective shift. Yoga. Or just stretching, shaking. You can actually just shake your body, and that literally can shake off tension, stress, activations. Shaking is really powerful, and it's really fun. That's a really fun one to do with kids, too. Did you ever see a duck in the lake that gets in a fight with another duck? They don't go to therapy for five years. No, they just literally shake their tail and then they keep swimming. So try shaking. That's really fun. Dancing is another one of my favorites. Just put on a song that you love to dance to. No choreography, no mirrors. You don't have to film yourself. Just dance. Like one of those songs that when you're in your living room that comes on the radio, you're like, oh my God, I can't help myself. Um qi gong, Tai Chi. These are all beautifully regulating movement practices that are really good for you. Or maybe you have another one that's not on this list, but movement, really, really great. You go to the gym, lift weights. Okay,

Nature As A Co-Regulator

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tool number three nature. Going outside in nature. Nature is a co-regulator. Nature also shows us, just by being in it, the impermanence of life, how much life changes, and that everything is cyclical, including ourselves and even our moods. So getting outside in nature is really valuable and really regulating. You don't even have to do anything in nature, but you could do some of those movement practices in nature. You could do some yoga outside or go swimming. Just walking in nature, gardening, getting your hands in the dirt. Ooh, that's so good. Going to the beach, going to the lake, just laying down, getting a blanket. This is one of Catherine's favorite things to do, is to just lay on the ground. You could do that outside and just look up at the trees. Oh my God, have you ever done that? That is so great. And looking at the sky, skygazing during the day or at night, that's really cool. It's beautiful. Getting the sunlight on your face. So here's a little nerdy fact about me. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is put my face in the sun. It's really great to reset and set your circadian rhythm for the day and helps you sleep better. All of these things are very regulating. Maybe you have another one that's not on the list, but getting out into nature, like your parents were right when they said go outside and play, that was regulating. Catherine. You're so sun-kissed. I love it.

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Yes.

Connection And Co-Regulation

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Tool number four is all about connection. Like, who helps you regulate? Co-regulate? Like, is it somebody? Is it your partner? Do you enjoy just like melting in your partner? Are you able to just have your partner hold you? Or is there a person that you like to have a conversation with that's helpful? Maybe it's a trusted friend or somebody from your community. Maybe you have a coach or a support group. Sometimes it's just beautiful to be in the presence of another human where you're co-regulating, your systems are co-regulating. You want to find someone who's really grounded, who has really nourishing and grounded and permissive energy because it feels like a warm hug, even if you're not in the same room together.

Awareness And Naming Sensations

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Tool number five is awareness. And this isn't so easy, but it's possible. It's where, like, how did I get dysregulated? Can you feel the sensation in your body? Maybe you're having racing thoughts, or maybe you're starting to feel your heart beat inside of your chest. Maybe you're feeling tingling in your hands, like noticing I'm irritable, or oh wow, I can feel this sense of urgency, or oof, I feel shut off to the world. Like I just don't want to be bothered by anyone, anything. And just being with it, like noticing it and being aware of it and just naming it to yourself. Oh wow, I can really feel my heart beating fast. I can really feel my heart beating strongly. I can feel my thoughts racing. I can sense this urgency that I feel in my body. I'm not quite sure why. And then just pausing. Like just name it and pause to create space and see if you can breathe, like add awareness to the other tool number one of breathing, and just breathing into the location of wherever you're sensing it and seeing and watching that dissipate somewhat with your attention.

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Love these.

Permission To Feel Without Fixing

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Tool number six, permission. You can give yourself permission to rest, to cry, to be in the actual experience that you're in, disappointed, angry. Instead of talking yourself out of it or bypassing it, give yourself permission to feel what you're feeling and have the experience that you're having. Permission to not know what to do. Just saying, I don't know what to do here, or calling a friend, you can connect some of these tools and saying, I'm not sure what to do next. And you could do that in a conversation as well, if you get dysregulated in a conversation. I'm not sure what to do here. I'm upset. So giving yourself permission is really huge. I think that's an easy one to forget about.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Even you just saying it right now, letting somebody know, hey, I don't know what to do here, but I know I'm hurt, upset, etc. Like just allowing yourself to be in the place without having to fix it is so powerful. Tool

Prayer Meditation And Energy Work

SPEAKER_01 15:13

number seven is spiritual practices. And this can look like many things. Everybody's relationship to spirit, God can be so individual, and yet there are some staples that we can definitely do to help us get regulated. Sometimes it's prayer, like just feeling yourself in the surrender of it all once you know that you've done everything that you can do. Meditation, where you're just being with yourself. Gratitude. Can you really feel into the gratitude for everything that you have thus far experienced in life or have in this moment? Journaling on whatever has you dysregulated, whatever happened, like feeling into whatever fears or angst there may be, or any other sensations or feelings that you're having, thoughts maybe around it. And my favorite is energy work. I am an energy worker, so there's always that. And when I think of energy work, I also think of the tool that Brenda spoke about when you shake. Like shaking is a great way to tap into your own energetic field. You can shake and then pause and see if you can feel the tingling in your fingertips. Can you just pass that your hands along your body and feel like you're cleansing yourself with just the swiping of your hands, taking away everything that no longer serves you in that moment? Ultimately, we're looking at what helps us remember that we're part of something larger, what helps us remember who we are, what helps us come back to the highest version of ourselves so that we can then once again meet life.

Pick A Tool And Tell Us

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We hope that you try one or all of these. Let us know which regulating system or toolbox, what which regulating tool feels the most aligned for you and has been the most helpful. Wishing you the best now and always. Bye for now.

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Thank you for joining us on the Desire as Medicine podcast.

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Desire invites us to be honest, loving, and deeply intimate with ourselves and others. You can find our handles in the show notes. We'd love to hear from you.