155 ~ What's Your Go-To Reset Tool? (Tool Box Edition)

Your nervous system already has a favorite move. When anxiety spikes, when you feel overwhelmed, when loneliness lands, when anger or grief shows up, you reach for something fast. The question is whether that “something” is actually regulating you or simply getting you through the moment.

We share a quick toolbox-style practice built around one golden question: What’s the perfect regulation tool? Our honest take is simple: the best tool is the one you’ll use. Then we push it a step further, because using a tool isn’t the same as being supported by it. Through a rapid-fire series of prompts, we help you identify your default coping habits in real time and build awareness around what you’re doing when you’re dysregulated.

From there, we connect regulation to capacity. When we’re more regulated, we can hold more of life: intimacy, truth, responsibility, joy, and the stretch that comes with real desire. If you’ve been living on autopilot, this short rapid-fire check-in practice can be a reset of sorts that helps you choose a tool that brings you back to yourself.

Episode Nuggets:

• Desire as a deep spiritual practice and daily compass  
• Toolbox format and the golden question about the “perfect” regulation tool  
• Rapid-fire prompts to find your go to tool
• Seeing your default coping patterns through simple self-awareness  
• Choosing what is effective, not just familiar  
• Regulation as the foundation for capacity and being able to hold more life  

Transcript

Welcome And Why Desire Leads

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Welcome to Desire is Medicine. We are two very different women living a life led by desire, inviting you into our world.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

I'm Brenda. I'm a devoted practitioner to being my fully expressed true self in my daily life, motherhood, relationships, and my business. Desire has taken me on quite a ride, and every day I practice listening to and following the voice within. I'm a middle school teacher, turned coach and guide of the feminine.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

And I'm Catherine, devoted to living my life as the truest and hopefully the highest version of me. I don't have children, I've never been married, I spent equal parts of my life in corporate as in some down and low shady spaces. I was the epitome of Tired and Wired, and my path led me to explore desire. I'm a coach, guide, energy worker, and a forever student.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

Even after decades of inner work, we are humble beginners, on the mat, still exploring, always curious. We believe that listening to and following the nudge of desire is a deep spiritual

The Golden Question On Regulation

SPEAKER_01 1:10

practice. Welcome back, family, friends, listening. On the Desires Medicine podcasts.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

And we are bringing a new piece of mini tools that are awesome in the world. And toolbox episodes are sponsored. We point to a tool so that it helps you play with desire. And today, the golden question is what's the perfect regulation tool? It has me think of that amazing answer for these kinds of questions. Like the best tool is the one you use. But in today's episode, we want you to feel into do you want to keep using that one? And we have a way for you to get there. So Brenda is gonna read some questions. You're gonna answer each question in 30 seconds or less. It's like a rapid fire. And basically, what we're wanting to feel into is what did you what was the most common answer for you? And don't for don't worry, you don't have to come up with that right now. I'm gonna come back to wrap it up after she's done asking you the questions.

Rapid-Fire Prompts For Awareness

SPEAKER_00 2:22

But I'm inviting you to play. It's gonna be super fast and super fun.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Let's play. Okay, so I'm gonna ask you some questions and you're just going to see what pops into your head. There's truly no right answer here, but the point of this exercise is awareness. So you're building your awareness. So the point of awareness is that you know what you're doing. What are you currently doing in your life, and is that working for you? Because awareness is everything. Here we go. What do you do? What do you reach for when you're anxious? What do you do and what do you reach for when you feel overwhelmed? When you're lonely, when you're angry, when you're grieving, when you're exhausted, and what do you do? What do you reach for when you're stuck in your head?

SPEAKER_00 4:07

Thank

What Your Answers Reveal

SPEAKER_00 4:08

you so much, Brenda, for leading us through that. And what you have just answered are the answers to what you turn to under specific circumstances or emotions, sensations. When you feel dysregulated in these areas, what are you reaching for? The awareness of this helps you feel into. Is this tool that I'm using really helping me come home to myself? Yes, the best regulation tool is the one you'll actually use, but we also want something that's really effective and you get to choose because the more regulated we become, the more life we're able to hold. And that is what capacity is. May you be the person that gets to have their desires. Thank you so much for playing. We can't wait to hear how this rapid fire round of questions helped you with your awareness around the regulation tool that you use the most and the one that you're choosing moving forward.

Capacity, Closing, And Connect

SPEAKER_00 5:26

Thanks so much for joining us. Until next time. Bye for now.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

Thank you for joining us on the Desire as Medicine podcast.

SPEAKER_00 5:40

Desire invites us to be honest, loving, and deeply intimate with ourselves and others. You can find our handles in the show notes. We'd love to hear from you.